12/08/2004

A few crumbs from the brain of an Everyman

  • Everyone knows about women's biological clock. But few people know men have a biological clock, too. I have one. I have to pop a load at least once every 24 hours. And around 10:30, I usually crave a bag of Doritos. You women thought you were under pressure!
  • Apple computer users have a one-button mouse. One button. I can't get used to the idea of one button on a mouse. It's like dating a girl with one boob.
  • You're always hearing about pre-meditated murders on the news. But I prefer my homicides to be spontaneous; otherwise it just feels contrived. Call me a romantic.
  • What is the ozone, but the sunblock God rubbed on the Earth?
  • I'd rather have sex with a cactus than listen to the latest Kenny G Christmas album.
  • I love all these cutesy names for alcoholic beverages -- orgasm, blow job, pink nipple, sex on the beach, etc. The irony, of course, is that drinking too many of them will sap a boner.


6 comments:

Useful Idiots said...

dating a girl with one boob .......LOL

Anonymous said...

Ponti! Its Veggie! Hi! ;) Glad to see I can read/comment on your tirades now! :D

Miss Fabulous said...

"I'd rather have sex with a cactus..."

I LOVE IT!

I'm so book marking you.

katieb

Anonymous said...

Pontif...will check back in on you here...will hang with ebloggy until it happens again, then im comin' here to join you.

JackMercer

Useful Idiots said...

Hey Pont my url is

http://rightthistyme.blogspot.com

I'm gonna be hangin out here now but I will be checking in on 42k and the rest of the denizens maybe the next ebloggy fuck up will shift more over to here.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Let's hope, man. I'd love to see all the eBloggy people at eBlogger.