12/27/2004

Some more ponderables

  • Do you think Arabian golf courses have "turf-traps?"
  • I have to stop eating Christmas cookies and candy. If I eat any more sweets I'm going to crap a Bon-Bon.
  • On Christmas, most people build gingerbread houses. I was low on cash this year, so I build a Wonderbread house.
  • Why do termites eat houses but leave all the trees?
  • If a judge writes a poem, is it poetic justice?
  • I don't understand the term "soft porn." I hate to point out the obvious, but if it's soft, you can't have sex! About the only thing left to do is order Chinese take out and go to bed early.
  • There's an SUV on the market that comes with a first-aid kit built into the door. What does that say about the safety rating of the vehicle when a first-aid kit comes standard? "We've secretly filled John's airbag with Folgers Crystals. Let's see what happens."
  • If a radioactive element reaches its half-life, does that mean it's middle-aged? Does it start running around with elements half its atomic weight? Does it grow a paunch and a goatee? Does it get depressed: "Geez. My life's half over. And I'll never find love. Everybody acts like I'm radioactive."

7 comments:

Toni said...

Ya know, I never really gave much thought about these things before. You are a great pontificator, Bug's Butt, if there is such a word. Or is that ponderabler? Eh, whatever.

History Dude said...

Soft porn is kind of like decaff coffee or non-alcoholic beer. What's the friggin point?

Blog ho said...

Amen, Big Eric. A fuckin' men.

Miss Fabulous said...

I am interested to hear you "New Years Resolutions."

Kristy said...

I laughed so hard at your Folger's airbag, I almost peed myself... Jack Mercer suggested I check out your blog, and I'm glad I did. Thanks!

Wyatt Junker said...

I find this blog extremely Socratic.

But I want answers man ANSWERS!!!

Blog ho said...

What did Socrates ever get from answers? Poison.