12/16/2004

Some quick hits

The crappier the show is on television, the farther the remote control is from where you're sitting.

Little-known fact: those with honorary doctorate degrees can perform surgery on judges.

If they call it a "nutcracker" why is the vice-grip thing at his mouth? They should call them "mouth crackers."

Serial killers, by definition, work from a list. But how rigid is that list? When I go shopping, sometimes I buy what's on sale, instead. Do serial killers ever get tempted by "impulse shopping?" What if a serial killer encounters a hitchhiker on his way to the post office? Or some twins walking down the road. That would be like a 2-for-1 sale.

Almost all the gold ever mined is still in use today -- just like all the fruitcakes ever baked are still being used as a Christmas gifts.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"If they call it a "nutcracker" why is the vice-grip thing at his mouth? They should call them "mouth crackers.""
- GOOD POIUT!!! LOL!

Anonymous said...

"If they call it a "nutcracker" why is the vice-grip thing at his mouth? They should call them "mouth crackers.""
- GOOD POINT!!! LOL!

-that was Veg, I'm a tired dumbass that needs to learn how to fucking post a comment. LOL

Jack Mercer said...

Pontif! I still have one of my Aunt's fruitcakes. She gave it to me in 1988, thus proving your theory!

Anonymous said...

Never thought about serial killers impulse shopping. That's a funny concept. "I went in for a blonde 12 year old and I came out with the blonde 12 year old plus an old lady and a cute little kitten. I just couldn't help myself. Why are teh blonde 12 year olds always at the back of the store with the milk, damnit."