1/21/2005

Interview with the Vampire, aka, the Boss

I think that if employeers can ask applicants for references and then call the places you've worked, then we applicants should get a list of the people who previously held the job we're accepting and call them. I know that would have helped me dodge a few employment landmines in my past. With some of these job, I didn't know what I was getting into. I've come to learn that previous employees spent time in psych wards after resigning.

I say employers and applicants should both have dirt on each other. It sure would make salary negotiations more interesting:

Applicant: "I'd love to work for your organization. But a previous employee informs me you beat him severly with a 9-iron for missing a deadline. In light of this, I'll have to insist on a company car and free dental. Oh, and I'll need a yearly bonus structure to compenstate me for the rest of the pricks on the 6th floor I heard about."

Hiring Manager: "I understand your concern. However, our HR department has learned that you issued two bomb threats against your previous employer and murdered a mid-level manager who accused you of insubordination. We'll throw in free dental, but you won't be eligible for bonuses until the following quarter. Our salary offer is firm."

5 comments:

Latigo Flint said...

Hiring Managers love applicants who have done their homework and are well prepared. Near the end of the interview is the best time to show your surveillance photos of their wife and children.

Latigo Flint said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Molicious said...

The only thing I ever want to know is who has sat in the chair previously. You never know what kind of diseases people might have "down there". Especially since I have known some skanky ho-bags who refuse to wear underwear to work.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

LF: Yeah. I never thought of that. Good career tip.
TW: LOL. Those girls should throw on a thong, for Christ's sake.

Toni said...

I think that applicants should also be able to ask current employees about what their potential boss is like. I'm sure my boyfriend wished he had that option before accepting his current job. His boss does so much pot and acid that it's warped his memory. He'd yell at people for not doing something that he never assigned them to do in the first place.