1/11/2005

Total recalls

  • I read that Ford issued a saftey recall. Apparently they accidentally filled the driver-side air bag with thumb tacks.
  • Trojan Condoms recalled its Extra-Large 12 packs when it discovered 98.4% of the time they slip off and lodge themselves into the vagina.
  • Pro-form Fitness has recalled its latest models of treadmills and health riders after discovering the handlebars don't support folded laundry.
  • The beef industry has recalled 17,000 lbs. of hamburger meat after learning "Mad Cow Disease" wasn't just slang for a Michael Moore political rally.
  • Sales of the anti-impotence drug Viagra have haulted due to an accidental contamination of stool softener.
  • Anti-skid bathroom mats manufactured by Dow Chemical have been recalled after learning they mistakenly added a Teflon coating to 10,000 units.
  • Stanley Tool is recalling its 12-foot step ladder upon learning the 11th step is made of Silly Puddy.

5 comments:

Rachel Nicole said...

Hey, thanks for your comment on my blog oh-so-long-ago! Sorry to just now get back to you. I go to a small Lutheran school in Nebraska, and I'm hoping - eventually! - to get my BFA in art there. Definitely glad to have finals behind me! How did you like Phoenix? I have a friend who goes there, and he says it's a pretty good school. What did you major in?

Rachel Nicole said...

Oh, and hilarious post!

Latigo Flint said...

And under heavy pressure from the ACLU, Boeing has preemptively recalled their anti-matter warp drive. Statistical analysis showed there was chance it could be used by those dirty Republicans to rape and pillage alien civilizations across countless undiscovered galaxies.

darthmoridin said...

In a move that many pegged as inevitible, trial lawyers made a motion to permanently revoke common sense and personal responsibility.

Jack Mercer said...

There has also been a Common Sense recall on Capital Hill...