2/03/2005

Regressives

I've got a dirty little secret for "progressives" everywhere: Starbucks' cappuccino steamers destroy the ozone and their coffee beans are picked by 32-cent-per-hour child labor in foreign countries that steal jobs from our labor unions.

Now will you shut the hell up and drink your coffee?

Oh, that reminds me. How come when Styrofoam contains a Big Mac, it's a crime against nature. But when it holds designer coffee, it's suddenly cool?

8 comments:

Blog ho said...

I think that beans picked by retards taste the best.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I love hypocrisy. I love it when people who drive cars are against smoking. I love clothing stores that sell anti-capitalism t-shirts. I love parents that stay home but send their kids to church. I love the government condoning taxable drugs and condemning drugs that can be grown at home.

Lies are the fabric of society.

nongirlfriend said...

Yeah, what both of them said.

bullish1974 said...

Starbucks keeps on saying "fair trade". they don't mean well. i'm shifting to coffee bean and tea leaf. now that's so britney spears.

sCruuw said...

I buy my Frap in glass.

Lizabeth said...

Some people are such idiots. Oh wait, thats an understatment.

Jack Mercer said...

Bug, its posts like this that give us all inspiration. I hope to one day grow up and be just like you, Man!

Chris said...

It's been a while since I waz in a Starbucks, I can't afford to anymore cause I gotta keep gas in my Hemi powered durango (oh, and I'm all for smoking, bottle rocket) but i'm pretty sure thier cups are cardboard, cause if they don't put that sleve thingy on them it burns the shit out of your hand.
Speaking of coffee, I think those new 7-11 cups are fantastic. They are like some super styrofoam that is thin but really strong and the new "high rise" lids with the slidey thing that opens the hole are awesome.