3/24/2005

Blogosphere Contraindications

Warning: If you're reading this, you've entered the Blogosphere. If you wish to remain in the Blogosphere, please disregard this wanring and continue. BEFORE YOU DECIDE, please read the following list of contraindications to Blogosphere surfing. If you have any of the following, immediately highlight the address bar in your browser and type "disneyland.com," or some other faggy, pussy-boy site that wouldn't dare publish anything offensive.

Blogosphere Contraindications:

1) The word "cunt" or any of its conjugations offends you.
2) You prefer your text devoid of spelling errors, grammar infractions, or unnecessary ellipses (...).
3) You hold any politically correct sentiments, such as environmentalism, women's studies, or kindness to those less fortunate.
4) You take offense to ethnic slurs.
5) You take offense to writing of an explicit, sexual nature.
6) You take offense to song lyrics reprinted without explicit written consent of the copyrighter.
7) You object to Internet psychological test results of people you don't know personally.
8) You object to posts in list or diary format.
9) You insist on doing something vaguely productive with your time.
10) You avoid work by authors named "ho," "bitch," "poop," or the posterior of an insect.
11) You prefer the work of sober writers.
12) You eventually tire of sarcasm
13) You object to lewd, lacisvious pictures Photoshopped together for comedic value.
14) Your employer allows only "business appropriate" subject matter while at work.
15) You don't understand intitials like "WTF," "OMG," or "ROFL."

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