3/15/2005

Da Vinci's Genius

Perhaps the most famous sketch in the world is Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man. I'm sure you've seen it. It's that naked guy inside the circle.

Scholars look at that sketch and admire the genius of Leonardo Da Vinci: his mastery of anatomy, depiction of the Divine Proportion, the canon of the human form.

I look at that same sketch and think, "Put some freakin' pants on, weirdo. This isn't a Superbowl Halftime Show." It's interesting, though. Why can this Virtuvian Man can give full frontal, but Janet Jackson can't flash half a titty?

Anyway, this guy's "master-piece" is front and center and the look on his face is like "so what do you want from me?" If I were posing for an artist, I wouldn't stand naked, spead-eagle, in a giant circle, with my junk on display for all of posterity to see. Although I'd give a whole new meaning to the term "Divine Proportion."

I don't care if he is European. A little modesty would be nice. Save it for the bath house, VM.

They really let it all hang out in the Renaissance Period. Have you been to The Louvre? It's like a naked bomb exploded. Nothing but oil genitalia and boobs. Everybody on the walls looks like they're headed to an Abercrombie photo shoot, or a prisoner at Abu Ghraib.

Girls Gone Wild -- the Renaissance Period!

And with all those naked people running around, you think a couple of those fellas' sundials would be pointing north.

If I were an art critic, I'd write about things like this. But I'm under court order not to engage in artwork of any kind since the sculpting incident. Stupid model couldn't take a joke.

1 comment:

Molicious said...

So THAT'S what Mona Lisa was smiling about. :o)