4/05/2005

Dr. Seymour McCrack, Politically Correct Gynecologist, 4th

And now for the forth installment of Dr. Seymour McCrack, Politically Correct Gynecologist.

But first a note to my readers: It has come to the author's attention that several readers have mistaken Dr. McCrack for a competent, licensed clinician. Acting on his counsel, these readers have suffered consequences detrimental to their health. Understand that Dr. McCrack isn't real. He's a product of my imagination. He's a work of fiction, like “women doctors” or the Holocaust.

Fresh quotes from the office of Dr. Seymour McCrack:

“I haven't seen lips that big since J.J. Walker in Good Times.”

“Off with the socks, show me the box.”

“As much as I enjoyed the pictures in my medical textbooks, nothing comes close to the live show.”

“When I was a boy, my momma told me if I press this button, I'd start World War III.”

“Why gynecology? I'm glad you asked. Hmm. Let me think. I guess I'd have to say all the pussy. No, seriously. Growing up with 3 sisters, I noticed these things are high-maintenance. These things are like Jaguars -- always breaking down. Anyway, I figured if the auto mechanic can make six-figures, imagine what a good gynecologist could pull in (other than the speculum).”

“It's a good line of work, overall. But every once in a while I have to dive into a cooter older than many rock formations.”

“Normally, I don't violate patient confidentiality. But I've got this crazy patient who swears he has a vagina. Goes by the name 'Blog Ho.'”

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