6/29/2005

Six feet deep

You have to admit cremation is a cool way to dispose of a dead body.

I want to know who first conceived of cremation -- and whether others took him seriously.

"My dear family, Grandma passed last night. We have to decide where to bury her. And the hole has to be six feet deep. You boys will have to help me."

"Ah, gee whiz, Dad. Can't we just light her on fire or something?"

I'm sure that kid got his ass kicked that day. But sometime later it dawned on the rest of the family that setting the old bag of bones on fire was much easier than digging a 6-foot hole. Lo and behold, the ritual of cremation was born.

I also wonder where the word "cremation" comes from. It sounds like a dessert at Dairy Queen.

There's no cream involved in cremation. Just a fire, a corpse and ash. They should call it "ashation."

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