Anyway, here are some things you WON'T read on my tombstone. I hope you enjoy them. And please, if you'd like to share, leave a few of your own tombstone inscriptions for the rest of us to read.
Husband, Father, Blogger
1971 -- 2070
- I wish I would have spent more time working. I wish I would have taken my job more seriously, done whatever it took to please the boss, and fought to get ahead in my career. Looking back, I see that your job is what makes or breaks you. All the other stuff is trivial.
- I wish I would have accumulated more stuff. If I only had more stuff, I would have been happy.
- I’m glad I took other people’s shit gracefully, stifled my wants and needs, and censored my sense of humor. Otherwise, I might have offended somebody -- and that would have been disastrous.
- I’m glad I passed on all that delicious junk food. Those health experts knew what they were talking about; they always have. It’s a miracle I ever died. I avoided everything they said would kill me.
- I’m glad I scrimped and saved my money. I’m in a much better position to enjoy it now that I’m dead.
- I’m glad I squandered my money on non-essential things. It turns out money DOES grow on trees!
- I’m glad I didn’t just walk away from those petty annoyances. The anger and frustration raging inside me conjured my best game. I showed all those faulty computers, damaged appliances, household repairs and inconsiderate people who the boss is.