9/01/2005

Herpes medication... let's not get rash

A while ago I saw a commercial for herpes medication. It showed black-and-white close-ups of an attractive woman telling the audience how the medication has reduced the frequency of her flare-ups. Then the commercial cut to her dancing on the beach and cuddling with a man. And I kept yelling at the TV, “Run, you poor bastard. RUN!.” Later, she and the guy are riding bicycles -- and all I can do is thank God I'm not the bicycle seat. Hey, do you think this lady’s Spandex are considered a WMD? I digress. Somebody call Hans Blix!

Finally, the commercial ended with her saying, “now I can get back to doing what I love.” What is that, lady? Infecting unsuspecting men with weapons-grade crotch rot?

I think it's great idea that pharmaceutical companies can make medication to alleviate the symptoms of venereal disease. But as a public health service, they should add a chemical that makes the user's skin glow bright orange when they become sexually aroused -- give the rest of us a heads-up.

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