10/31/2005

4-banger

  • Gary Coleman makes a perfect mini-me for Richard Pryor.
  • I read a quote that says rather than curse the dark, one should light a candle. Useless! Here’s some practical advice you can use in the bathroom: Rather than curse the odor, light a match.
  • The more I watch my 401-k, the more I think my best retirement plan may be to die early.
  • Here’s a warning that should be on the package of sunflower seeds: “Warning. Consuming this product may cause sharp debris in stool.”

26 comments:

tornwordo said...

Yes, dying early solves everything. And sphincter discomfort is definitely a wise warning for sunflower seeds.

NWJR said...

That's why I only eat the sunflower seed hearts. Forget those damn shells.

Good advice.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Damn...and I love sunflower seeds too.

nongirlfriend said...

Yikes, sounds like it hurts!

gusgreeper said...

cutting the asshole area with sharp 'debris' is the WORST.
not that it has ever happened to me or anything.

Weary Hag said...

Wonderful little list of ponderables today. Sunflower seeds; if we have trouble passing them, just think of those teensy little sphincters birds must have! YEOWCH.

Happy Halloween you little monster you.

Weary Hag said...

Wonderful little list of ponderables today. Sunflower seeds; if we have trouble passing them, just think of those teensy little sphincters birds must have! YEOWCH.

Happy Halloween you little monster you.

Weary Hag said...

Wonderful little list of ponderables today. Sunflower seeds; if we have trouble passing them, just think of those teensy little sphincters birds must have! YEOWCH.

Happy Halloween you little monster you.

Molicious said...

After I had to pull money out of 401k for my house closing, I realized that I may never get to retire. I'll just end up dying at my desk or in my car on the way to work. Sad isn't it?

Patsy Darling said...

Wait I always thought Gary Coleman was my mini-me, oh no wait mine is Emanuel Lewis, my bad.

Lizabeth said...

They will also cut up your guts, making your stomach feel miserable, BEFORE they make their way through the canal. Ouch.

Michele in Michigan said...

I don't recall a problem eating those seeds as a kid. Perhaps it's time to try them again...

And the 401? Totally agree with that dying early thing!

Dave Morris said...

Talk about anal mutilation... once I ate one of those aluminum-wrapped chocolate footballs but forgot to take the aluminum off and was too embarrassed to spit it out because my friends were right there. Next day, extreme wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh great One said...

The last one made me laugh. Not many bloggers ACTUALLY make me laugh but you do. On the regular basis!

Riss said...

Did you write this post while on the can? That would rock.

poopie said...

Oh baby....I love that quick and dirty thing ;)

BOO to you!

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Yeah, this is what happened in 1492:

"Columbus has a cabin boy,
This boy's name was Ripper,
He dined upon some broken glass,
And circumcised the skipper."

Spinning Girl said...

My, what a scatological post!

Amber Lynn said...

401Ks- retirement- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Okay, panic attack over. Great scary Halloween comment though.

Peter said...

Or;
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

Bennet said...

heheheheheee..

That means Richard Pryor would have to utter the words:" What the **** you talkin bout Willis?"

Ever drank lots of Gator-Aid...they don't warn you about those after affects either.

As always... Rachael said...

pumpkin seeds are just as bad. They are totally worth the uncomfortable movements!

Julie said...

that mini me is right on target my man!

Latigo Flint said...

But I swear it felt like eight.

sCruuw said...

Hi I'm Dixie.. Dixie Normous....

Floyd's Lists said...

It seems to Floyd that the author and majority of readers could use lessons on how to manage a 401k properly. So sad.