10/12/2005

In the newd today

I read in the news that about 100 people stripped naked and rode a roller coaster together.

It's not enough these naked people are making political protests. Now they have to soil roller coaster seats with ass. Remember the good ole days when people stripped naked in public to fornicate?

Anyway, the last place in the world I want to be naked is on a roller coaster. First, the G-forces are going to pull unsecured appendages beyond comfortable dimensions. The ride operators would have to amend that "keep arms and legs inside the ride at all times" caution to include gonads.

But more important, my dong is going to shrink to the size of a cocktail wiener during that first initial drop. That's scary shit.

And every once in a while a roller coaster makes an emergency stop. Sometimes it takes hours to rescue the passengers. How would you like you and your genitals on display for an entire theme park -- and the blazing sun? Sometimes you're stuck upside down! Ass-end up. And most of today’s coasters are suspension rides. That means sun-burned ass.

Call me a prude. But you should leave your clothes on for the roller coaster -- and take them off for the bumper cars.

30 comments:

Spinning Girl said...

I hate when people soil things with ass. It happens just about every day.

Rell said...

sounds like a lot of fun...

nongirlfriend said...

Another place nudity shouldn't be: cooking shows. I hate those nude cooking shows!

Pirate said...

Okay then how about nude merry-go-rounds? Or nude battles of tug-a-war in the mud. Lined up boy, girl, boy, girl. Man see where this will be going.

Heather said...

Blech! That's all I have to say about that.

Harry Yak said...

i make it a point to never put my ass over my head at any time. it's just not good business.

Sharkmeat said...

Icouldn't imagine that breasts would look any better pulling 3g's bugg! Nakedness should be reserved for Gforce free times I think...

Spirit Of Owl said...

I want to go ride a cushioned stair-lift dressed in a conservative grey suit in protest against those protestors.

NWJR said...

I would imagine that there are some boobies that would flap like sails in the wind on a roller coaster like this one. Hell, you wouldn't be able to see the hill when those things go floppin' up over your eyes.

Yep. Fully-clothed is a necessity for coaster rides.

Now an all-nude presidential debate behind glass lecterns...THAT would be interesting.

gusgreeper said...

you totally know how i feel about this.
fucking gross keep your uncovered ass OFF public areas. and you vaginas too.

Stace said...

OMG, that's disgusting!! But to imagine them stuck is hilarious!

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

There is something about these three things that don't go togehter. It's like that old Sesamie Street song, "One of these is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong, can you tell which one before i finish my song?"

Hmmm.... Lets see...

Terror
forces
ass
stuck
bumper

Alex, I'll take ASS for $100, please?

That is just a disturbing thought.

Oh great One said...

You made me laugh out loud. I don't do that very often while reading blogs but you did it!

I still can't get the mental image of all the bouncing boobs in the bumper cars. Thanks.

CaCaBoy said...

I've always found that naked carouseling was a great way to meet new and interesting people. It's a real ice breaker!

Jay said...

You know those photos they take of you going down that scary loop that you get printed up on t-shirts. Well, consider how terrible everyone always looks in those photos. The skin is pulled taught, the tongue is out wagging, eyes rolled into sockets...now imagine same effects on a whole naked body,multiplied by one hundred. Not good.

ghoti said...

you've seen the pics of the naked skydivers, right? weird...

completely unrelated, i've posted something on my site at which you may or may not giggle so when you have a moment... you know, peruse me.

keep on blinkin'
:D

ghoti said...

right, here are the nude skydivers. lol. (i didn't know breasts could do that)

http://www.bareboating.com/photo/skydivingnude.jpg

Blonde said...

naked bumper cars? No back seat in those things for some action.

Spinning Girl said...

in the newd.
I just got that.
I must be on the kiddie coaster.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ewwww.....that's just.....

Ewwww......

Cheryl said...

OMG - you've heard what fear and adrenalin both do to a woman's um, well yeah.

Question is - did/should the fairground's insurers advise them to disinfect the seats after this event, or before? Or both?

Mind boggles. Makes 'riding at your own risk' take on a whole new meaning.

Nölff said...

for real... Who wants to shaw off their tally wacker whenm it's shrivled up like a stack of dimes.

Nölff said...

for real... Who wants to shaw off their tally wacker whenm it's shrivled up like a stack of dimes.

Nölff said...

I misspelled a couple words

Weary Hag said...

See, the trouble with me is, I'm thinking puke/nudity just don't bode well together. Maybe at home when you're racing down the hallway to greet the shiny bowl, but on an amusement park ride? Who wants somebody else's last night's peas stuck in their pubes?
And yes, it WOULD happen if I were on the coaster - there's always one loser who can't handle the g-force.

Thank you for giving me something to do today. I'll be spending it pushing this visual out of my fucking head.

Lyvvie said...

You're a prude. I totally want to ride a roller coaster naked, now.

*snicker* cocktail weiner. heeheee

Ok, just read Carol's post and I rescind everything I previously said. No way am I having ABC peas in my pubes. Thanks for that image Oh Weary one!

What about Nude paddleboating?

Teaspoon said...

every notice that there seems to never be any really good looking people who do this kind of thing? I am talking both women and men, not the best looking specimens to be running around nekkid as jaybirds.

Blog ho said...

prude.

Mona said...

Bumper cars....interesting compromise!

sCruuw said...

Oh that is too funny Bugg!!! sun-burned ass!