This is an alarming statistic. Air traffic controlling and dentistry are last two professions in the world that should employ suicidal people! How long do you think it will take some air traffic controller to figure out that a cool way to kill oneself is by navigating a 737 into the tower he's working in?
“Attention Delta Flight 502: make your heading 274 and maintain an altitude of 30 feet. And 502, don't mind the radar blip straight ahead. It’s not the tower. It’s just some interference. And speaking of interference, do you ever feel that your mother's interference with your childhood has forever sucked the joy out of your life?”
I don't know why dentists are so depressed. What’s a bad day for a dentist? Did all the patients eat Milk Duds and Oreos before their appointments?
Don’t get me wrong about dentists. I’m sure their jobs suck sometimes. Retrieving popcorn kernels from underneath gum lines all day isn't fun, but it can't be all that bad when you consider you have unfettered access to laughing gas. That’s right. Dentists have all the nitrous oxide you could want. No calories, no hang-overs, doesn’t show in a urine test. Talk about a perfect drug! That happy nose isn’t just for the patients, you know. I always offer my dentist a hit when I'm getting work done just to be considerate. I don't want an uptight dentist doing my root canal. And I certainly don't want a depressed person with a tray full of sharp instruments around me while I'm unable to articulate consoling words because of the gauze in my mouth. If I were a suicidal dentist, I’d strap that happy nose around my face and turn the dial to “whiney brat.”
Dentistry and air traffic control both sound like good gigs to me. So why all the suicide? You don't see burger flippers dipping their heads in the fryers or janitors drowning themselves in the bucket. I don't mean to disparage these or other menial labor jobs. They are necessary and even noble. But these poor fucks have to be more suicidal than dentists!