I don't understand why we put missing children's pictures on the back of milk cartons. The only people still drinking milk are kids!
I guess some adults still drink milk. It's perfect with dessert, after all. Still, we should remove all the missing kids' pictures and replace them with pictures of misbehaving children. Much more useful.
Have you seen this kid? His name is Tommy. He's 5'1" and 80 pounds. He's not missing, but he can be a real pain in the ass -- ever since he didn't get a PS-2 for his birthday. Some blame it on ADD, but really, he's just a brat. IF you see him, run like hell and lock your kids inside.
Somebody needs to tell TV lawyers and politicians that bowties are for little boys. Before the age of 10 or so, bowties are cute. After the age of 40, they're a sign of senility -- unless, of course, you're a 40+ clown, in which case it’s work attire. Although many clown companies allow traditional neckties on casual Fridays.
Why don't these bowtie guys accessorize? Work that little bowtie. How about a pair of red suspenders and a lollipop? Wouldn't a lollipop tie things together? One of those big, round swirl pops.
And they could skip to and fro. Maybe wear one of those beanie caps with a propeller. And skip.
Too bad there aren't more accidental strangulation deaths from bowties. The most useful thing about a bowtie is its potential to strangle its owner. Too bad that usually doesn't happen.
Let's just go back to the necktie. And not those 80s, thin, Duran Duran ties. I mean the 1973, wide-body, Brady Bunch ties. Those are cool.
I read that a comic book (The Green Lantern, I think) has featured its first HIV-positive character. This is the first character in the history of comic books to have the disease.
It's about damn time! Did they expect us to believe that all these men prancing around in tights never contracted a little something in the Gothum Bath House?
Comic book heroes make the Back Street Boys look butch. I haven't seen more tightly wrapped packages since Xmas '82. And Batman #389 give new meaning to the term "Battle of the Bulge."
I wonder if now that one of the characters has HIV, we'll start seeing other super heros develop AIDS as well. You know how they are. If one has it...