12/19/2005

More bullets

  • I’d kill for a little peace in my life.
  • Anybody who can’t see what a nice guy I am must be a real jerk.
  • I’d love to be more optimistic. On second thought, optimism probably wouldn’t do me any good, anyway.
  • How stupid it was for me not to realize sooner how smart I am!
  • Please don’t end your sentences with prepositions. It’s one thing I won’t put up with.
  • Hold on. I’m planning my next act of spontaneity.
  • I don’t have the time to shop for a watch.
  • From time to time I rob Peter to Pay Paul, but I’ll never fool Sallie Mae.
  • If you want see into your future, take a look at what you’ve left behind.
  • If the Lord helps those who help themselves, how come so many car thieves wind up in jail?
  • A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work, unless you’re a professional fisherman, in which case it’s a tie.
  • When you wish somebody a Merry Christmas and they snidely remark that they don’t celebrate Christmas, promptly wish them a crappy one, then, instead.

24 comments:

Pirate said...

bingo. great insight into a great mind. And screw those scrooges that can't unpucker their asses for one holiday.

Karen said...

I like the way you think!

Nettie said...

I should do that last one at work. But then again, maybe not.

Heather said...

You are so awesome, LBB! ;-)

Toni said...

I am Sallie Mae's bitch for the next 20 years.

nongirlfriend said...

I'll have a crappy Christmas, then, Bug's Butt.

Merry Festivus to you!

NWJR said...

It's HAPPY FESTIVUS, nongirlfriend.

Sheesh. Some people.

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

May the diety of your choosing look fondly on your existence with grace and well being.

Julie said...

You could make a lot of money putting all of these as bumper stickers on cafe press!! Or, I forget,, how stupid it is you just now realized how smart you are to end sentences w/ prepositions, or something like that....
(then send a little my way...)

Peter said...

This is a good time of year to "kill for a little peace" lbb.

Melonie said...

Anybody who can’t see what a nice guy I am must be a real jerk.

Pure Poetry!

jules said...

You always make me laugh. Ususally when I'm drinking something and it ends up snorting out my nose. Dammit to hell.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

That "planned spontaneity" is SO me.

And I'm using that last one about a "crappy Christmas"...you can bet on it! :)

tornwordo said...

Those were good! I liked the same ones as peanut queen.

NWJR said...

"I’d kill for a little peace..."

Sounds like the GW Bush Doctrine.

Teaspoon said...

I try to practice the last one everyday of the year.

Have a good day.

What's so good about?

You're right hope you have an awful day and end up in the gutter smacked in the head with a titanium pimpstick.

Thank you.

You're welcome, have a good day.

Ari said...

Do you fish?

poopie said...

...and a crappy Christmas to YOU oh great one ;) muahhhhhh.

Amber Lynn said...

Merry Christmas!!

Oh great One said...

I'll wish them a crappy Christmas!
I'll wish them a crappy Christmas!
I'll wish them a crappy CHRISTMAS!
And a sucky New Year!

CaCaBoy said...

If you don't believe in Christmas, you must be a Jehovah's Witness!

...God I miss carolling at the Kingdom Hall!

Any day with a "C" in it, has to rock! Or Boobies in it! That REALLY rocks!

Video X said...

Christmas thing...heck yeah. screw those people.

prepositions thing...man alive. i know what you are saying. i actually make an effort not to do such sentence writing, but i'm sure i have made those mistakes.

nice bullets!

Wenchy said...

Think I am randomly just gonna have to go with wishing people crappy Christmasses actually.

Spinning Girl said...

Don't forget: Got to bed itchy ass, wake up smelly finger.

Merry Christmas!