1/10/2006

Dipshit commentator of the year

Lately, this guy(?) has been harassing me with dipshit commentary. I've gracefully ignored him. But the little fella won't go away. Far be it from me to ignore cries for attention. So if my readers would kindly indulge me, I'd like to offer a very special post entitled "Dipshit Commentator of the Year."

His profile reads, "Ummm...I've been described as spazzy and neurotic. Yep, that just about says it all, eh?"

No. That doesn't say it all. You've overlooked something. You're an incorrigibly boring an uncreative writer. Your blog must be made from the same stuff as Tylenol PM. (Do you really expect readers to give a damn about pictures of a pier or some smarmy sentiment about an old town?) I'd dissect your work for further criticism but I'd risk losing consciousness and choking on my own vomit. That dog you're molesting in the picture has left more entertaining posts piled on your front lawn. Why don't you let him write your blog? He seems a decent fellow.

I have 20 times your readership and there's a reason for it: I have something entertaining to share. Likewise, the people who read and comment here have interesting things to write -- and lively, entertaining posts at their blogs. They have class and style and personality. Click on a hotlink (right margin) at random and discover one of the greats. Clearly you don't belong in their company.

I welcome dissent and criticism. But I abhor hostility. Here's a little taste of your own medicine. Keep your envy in check and your comments civil. Practice that open-mindedness and tolerance you preach on your steaming pile of blog. Discover your sense of humor. You must have one; look at your hairdo. And if afterward my writing still offends your sensibilities, DON'T READ IT. I promise to return the favor. In fact, not reading your blog is an easy task. That's why so many of us do it so well.

Did you get the attention you're looking for? Now go dream up another trite yawner and post it, you condescending, sanctimonious douchebag.

39 comments:

Amandarama said...

Kill him. Kill him hard, LBB.

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

And show no mercy. Unoriginal blogging is the worst.

Dave Morris said...

Bug, why do you hold back so? ;)

Toni said...

I feel sorry for the dog.

This guy's just a troll. Ignore him and he will go away. I just got rid of one myself recently. Tool.

Riss said...

HAHAHAHAHA.... *sigh*

I love your blog. It's one of the few guarantees in my world. It's guaranteed that when I come here I will laugh out loud. That rocks.

Oh and I hate the detractors too. I just don't understand their bitterness. If you don't like the things I have to say then don't read it. Such a simple concept.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

What's your point?

(Heh. Hoss 1, LBB 0)

Spirit Of Owl said...

There you go with that name calling again.

tornwordo said...

Ah, such power with the pen. I wish I could do that. Brilliant.

Anti-Blogger said...

Wait a minute...you were taking nominations for this award? Why didn't you tell me? I like Mickey Mouse too and yet you didn't even consider me? I am saddened by this...very saddened.

I am over it now. Thanks.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You GO, LBB! :)

Chevy said...

you tell 'em.

and one exception: your blog doesn't have to be original and entertaining if you're hot.

Carrie said...

wow...i just stepped into a feud of sorts...and i'm not immune to such things myself, if you've seen my blog, i have some fabulous antagonists, the difference, they are my friends, and we kid.

this seems "serious", yet i'm amused. well, i've only just discovered your blog lbb, and it appears to be quite entertaining, so i'll be back. enjoy your day! :)

kari said...

Such a sweet looking dog for so evil a person.

NWJR said...

I really don't understand your hostility. I love this blog. It makes me laugh like hell. But hey, whatever. I was shooting for irony, but apparently you didn't get it.

I'll gracefully bow out and stop reading now.

Thanks, btw, for bringing this up with me first rather than making a public statement. Much appreciated.

Anonymous Shannon said...

Wow! LBB please tell us how you really feel! :)

Peaky said...

A green eyed eye for an eye and all that.
An award of such honour can only be bestowed on one so deserving, But shame about the acceptance speech I was hoping for a Gwenth Paltrow.

Melonie said...

He saw how big the book was on HNT and was jealous :)

JJ said...

What an uncomfortable situation...but it raises an interesting question: How can anyone be certain of the 'tone' of comments left in cyberspace? Yikes...

Kim said...

Excellent.

Molicious said...

Damn LBB! Give it to 'em good.

Smartypants said...

Holy crap! I must've missed something over the holiday.

I have to run. My dogs are destroying something. (Again.)

Video X said...

holy moly! well then...you tell him!

Avatar said...

Boo-yah! I love a good smackdown. That'll teach him to fuck with you, dude.

I've been getting similar crap (and, from the looks of it, several other female bloggers have too) from some douchebag who goes by the name "Datingmaster, Jerusalem", and I've just been deleting his comments. It's oh so very satisying.

NWJR said...

Thanks, LBB. Despite the fact that I find your blog immensely entertaining and enjoyable--and read it almost daily--you decided to publicly take me out to the woodshed for what you perceived as hostility. I was only having fun, but hey--apparently you really are thin-skinned. I guess you can dish it out, but you can't take it.

Honestly, you need to get over yourself...you write a post on name-calling, and when I give you back a little--in the SPIRIT OF FUN in which I thought the post was written--you act like a jerk and publicly call me out. Same with the other posts (like the Sean Haas comments, where I jokingly took on the name of a character you created).

If you had a problem with me or my posts, you should have dealt with it like the man you pretend to be and e-mailed me...the link was always on my blog (something you don't bother to include). Had you given me a chance to explain myself, we might have reached an understanding. But no..that would actually show some class, and apparently you don't have any. I guess you live by your credo of "the virtue of name-calling resides in making conflicts personal." Based on your vituperative post, that would make you the most virtuous person I know.

Thanks.

I won't be blogging any more. This isn't worth it, so I'm picking up my toys and leaving the sandbox. You win.

oregoncelticlady said...

Bahahaha! and Ouuuuch! Just stopped by through pirate's blog...think I better go back *laugh*. Too late to suggest that you boys might "play nice"?! Sounds like nwjr may be one of those that is super annoying and offensive and then literate enough to post comments that glean sympathy from those who have not been following? hmmmmm?! Probably not biting today....
Hey, nice to meet you Bug...er, uh..Butt? Um, anyway, nice to meet you.

Darlene said...

I came by after I noticed the new profile pic. I get the image of the naked guy beside you--that's your book cover and all, but I'm curious as to why there's a naked person behind you...Were you at the nude museum or something?

I guess I should read your post now.

Anonymous said...

I'm very sorry to post this in your comments section but I like your blog and think you may have a good chance of getting listed at our blog directory, "High Class Blogs."

Contact me at ethan@highclassblogs.com if you are interested.

Ethan Potter

Greg - Cowboy in the Jungle said...

NOOOOO!!!! Now he's left the blogging world! Nare to blog again! How will I live? How will I survive now that you have driven him out?

Oh... Wait...

Nope. Nothing changed, never saw his site any way. Oh well.

StringMan said...

Note to self: don't leave dipshit comments on Bug's blog.

Spirit Of Owl said...

Personally, I feel a little sorry for nwjr. I think he made a mistake, and was genuinely misunderstood. But there you go. What's done's done, and it's none of my business anyway.

Spinning Girl said...

Bitchin' diatribe. My nipples are rock-hard.

Jezzy said...

Nah, you're not funny anymore. He's a nice guy, you took a low blow here. He didn't troll you at all.

You can be entertaining and I always liked reading your blog, but this was just uncalled for.

I know you want to please your audience and have to always put on this "I'm such a funny, clever guy act", but really, hon, do the right thing and get rid of this post.

Posting someone else's picture and making fun of them is just really rude - it reminds me of highschool.

You don't have to stoop to that level to be entertaining. I know you're better than that.

Frap Gurl said...

Oh maybe that was my menace! Fuck those freak bastards! How the internet will implode without them!

Frap Gurl said...

Fuck that Jezzy....leave this post up. Bastards like that are the reason I have moved my blog...oh 4 or 5 times in a year!

Bug on my blog it gotta neato lil code that posts the towns of your visitors right on your blog..it tracks actual cities... times, length of visit..this might deter the fucker if he reappears under numerous names..AKA Jezzy!

Kitten said...

Jezzy: I second that motion.

Frap Gurl: Do a little research before you open your trap next time. NWJR does not=Jezzy. Now go back to your own blog, those 2 little comments are getting lonely.

LBB: This really is sad. Get on with it already.....

Jo said...

Seriously?? I've gotta be interesting, lively AND entertaining to read and comment here??? Damn... it was nice knowing ya LBB ;-)

Jezzy said...

Frap Gurl - lol - I needed a laugh! Thanks!

Sargini said...

That guy is a DRAMA QUENN...
I like how with just a few deep cutting words you changed that guys whole world. Could I ask what sign are you?
Thanks,
Sargini

Bennet said...

heheheheheheehehehe...hahahahaha...

I'm sorry I missed this earlier.

You never cease to amaze.Very funny. Looks like he took your advice.

I've managed to upset a few female "fans" with that naked woman, and the 2 kids....That's Why I jump at the chance to post images of shit every chance I get.