3/06/2006

Sirius(-ly Sucks) Radio, part 2

Thanks for stopping by to read my week-long Sirius(-ly Sucks) tirade. New readers: don't forget to scroll down and read the original salvo.

First, I thought of a new slogan for Sirius(-ly Sucks):

Sirius Radio -- our satellite is operated by the chimp that the Russians shot into space, and our broadcasts reflect it! (He's also in charge of our Rebate Program).

Here's another slogan for Siruis(-ly Sucks):

Howard Stern – he has a face made for radio and a voice made for mime.

Sirius(-ly Sucks) is trying to bolster ratings by recruiting mega-talent Howard Stern. Howard immigrated to Sirius because his hour-long rants on studio live sex acts, lesbianism, innuendo and fart jokes were confined by the decency standards of the FCC. What tyrants they are, huh? It's not like Howard displayed a Nativity scene near a school or anything. Lighten up, FCC.

Before I go any further, I should admit I respect Howard Stern. Think what you please of his broadcasts. The guy speaks his mind. That distinguishes him from 95% of everybody. Well, that and his schnozzle.

Let me get this straight. Sirius can't cut me my 50-dollar rebate check, but they've got $100,000,000 per year for Howard Stern? Who's the finance officer at Sirius? He needs to submit urine to HR for testing. I say put Charlie Manson on the air. He's less offensive and he works for 22 cents per hour!

I don't know. 100 million dollars per year? That's Puffy money! I mean, lesbianism is fine, but I can only hear it discussed so many hours per day, and Lifetime for Lesbos covers that for me. Sirius doesn't realize that Howard's act is obsolete. Back in the 1980s, a radio voice describing naked coke-whore hotties kissing in the studio was choice. "Are you a lesbian? Are those real?" Howard was the Edward R. Murrow of porn. But nowadays, you can watch a six-pack of lesbians sandwich a farm animal on any of 100,000 webcams. Just type "lesbo" in your Google Bar and you're lightyears ahead of Howard on his best (worst?) day.

One-hundred million dollars? I'll make Sirius a deal. Send me my $50 rebate and I'll mike a high school gym locker room: same material, $99,999,950 cheaper. And as an added bonus, I'll simulate fart noises into the thing from time to time.

Go XM!

30 comments:

nongirlfriend said...

Yeah, HS isn't a big deal anymore. Like you said. Kinda like a class clown who just won't shut up that isn't funny anymore.

I hope you get your $50 back.

tornwordo said...

Rebates are a scam. But then you knew that.

100 mil? Now that's obscene.

Chelle said...

I cannot stand Howard Stern. I can't believe that there are that many people out there who love listening to this idiot that they would PAY to listen to him. To each their own I guess. One hundred MILLION dollars? Thats just insane!! *shakes head*

Becky said...

No shit, they still won't give it to you. I thought the letter below would've worked for sure... Then again, no one likes to hear a threat.

Video X said...

screw those stupid pinhead dipshit bastard motherfuckers. they suck ass.

LaunderLust said...

I'm pretty sure you're going to get your $50 rebate. It'll just take some time with the mucky mucks at Sirius(ly Sucks) Radio finally coming to the conclusion that "it's good customer service." Once you get it back, I think that's when you should really go after them!

Oh great One said...

You go LBB! The line about the lesbo's just makes me feel dirty reading it. I have to take a shower now. A really long shower, with the shower massager......

NWJR said...

You go, LBB!

(I know, it's lame, but someone had to say it. Might as well be me.)

Frap Gurl said...

I sooo fucking agree... And seriously what is up with his hair? That much cash for him to swear and talk like any low life in a bar! No thank you.. go XM is right!

Laurie said...

Sirius SUCKS ASS!!!!! I'm not ashamed to say!

Let's picket.

Smartypants said...

So, what are you saying?

I shouldn't get Sirius?

Which one carries the NFL?

Webmiztris said...

I gotta tell ya, I think Howard is pretty cool...but I don't think ANYONE deserves $100,000,000/year for doing anything!

actonbell said...

Interesting. I must admit that I've never listened to Howard Stern and don't know anything about Sirius. That salary is much more obscene than anything Stern has ever said, to be sure. I hope you get your $50--good luck.

PBS said...

I've never liked Stern, reminds me of listening to Junior High School boys goofing around. Not funny unless you're (mentally!) that age.

phlegmfatale said...

For a time I enjoyed listening to Howard Stern, but then it got old, and turned into something of a one-note symphony. I would never have subscribed to Sirius for him. Actually, though, I have begun turning on the station he vacated in Dallas to listen to David Lee Roth, who actually has some great interviews, most particularly with Henry Rollins.

Still, those bitches at Sirius shouldn't have tried to bugger you. I WAS thinking of subscribing just to have a great array of choices, but now it's sounding a bit scammy to me. Just more bullshit like the usual crap that makes me already avoid radio listening in general.

Molicious said...

I am so behind you on this one.

I can tell you though, we're having the same rebate problems with Panasonic. I may have to go nutso like you and write a few posts about it. At least it'll make me feel better.

Lipgloss said...

I liked Howard Stern a million years ago, when he was still fresh and his antics were still brand new.

At some point, it just gets old.

blogagog said...

You should start a petition to cut Stern's pay to $99,999,950/yr. That would free up the funds required to fulfill their obligations with you. Stern would probably still be able to cope :)

Edgy Mama said...

you don't like Howard Stern?

Weary Hag said...

I actually like Howard Stern. But then, I actually like projectile vomiting too.

Still hoping you manage to recapture your fitty-bucks.

Carrie said...

I COMPLETELY LOVE the Howard Stern reference....VERY ON THE HEAD...love it!

Suzanne said...

If i'm not mistaken, I lost a bit of cash in Sirius stock! I sport an XM radio in my car instead!
As for Howard....eeeuuuwww.

Blonde Bitch said...

I AGREE! I have an XM and it's great. Havent heard a good thing about Sirius. And Howard Stern is a PUKE LOL

Snooze said...

100 mil for HS when garbage collectors, police, teachers, doctors, firefighters - people who actually make society run - are paid minimal amounts by comparison, is crazy. I do love your campaign of revenge against Sirius though.

CaCaBoy said...

Is that "Lesbo" with two "s" or one?

Mom of Three said...

Just so you know, I went to Sirius.com and sent the following to investor relations:

I was reading a blog: http://www.bugsbutt.blogspot.com/ and after I heard what trouble he was having with getting a rebate you promised him, I think I’ll buy XFM when I buy my satellite radio. How sad! Please pay this poor man!

They should know how far-reaching the Internet really is.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Mom: Thanks a million.

Riss said...

I like Howard but it does get old. That being said, whenever I catch his show on E I get reeled in.

Smitty said...

Ahhh...so now I finally know what company those monkeys are working for in the commercials.

Anonymous said...

Sirius Scam

I’m sooooo f***ing pissed off right now. I dropped my Sirius account back in 12/07 because I wanted to move my yearly billing date to the summer time. I am paying too many taxes in December and the 130.00 was too much extra at that time of year for me.

Anyway I did not call them to tell them and guessed they would just turn off my radio which would be ok with me.

But they did not stop there. They sent me to a collection agent for a total of $96.70.
I just got the bill today. I called Sirius and they told me I should have called them to avoid these charges. I had no idea they could do this. Just a heads up to any of you guys that may not know about this. If you knew about this good for you. I'm posting this for those of you that dont.
I will be taking my Sirius radio out of my truck and smashing it to a hundred pieces and sending it and the check to them by Monday. I will post pictures of the hammering later.
I guess,.. I will only be doing mp3 music from now on.

Good dam thing it not a store down the street doing this to me. Jail would be really cold tonight.

Any Sirius MOD’s want to talk about this. Please tell me what’s up with the billing a- holes. PM me I would be happy to talk about it.
Later
Mark