- Jack and the girls would have a slam-dunk discrimination suit against the Ropers for having to pretend that Jack was gay so they could all rent a room together. The irony is, we all know Jack really was a flaming homo. Brokeback Company? Come on. The guy was enrolled in culinary school, for God's sake. And if you watch very carefully like I do, you'll see Jack's trousers become a little more snug when Larry comes over.
- Every scene of every episode would have someone culpable of sexual harassment. In the 1970s, we called these goings-on flirting. Nowadays they’re crimes. So much for tolerance. Is it really so wrong that Jack reminds the girls he’d like to “fluff their pillows” every five minutes? It’s innuendo, people. It’s not like he was talking on a cell phone while driving an SUV or something.
- Every week the police would have to respond to a domestic violence call, what with all the hitting, poking, punching, grabbing, pillow fights and disorderly conduct. But once the fuzz learned Jack was queer, it would be a toss-up who the perpetrator was. My vote goes to the writers. They should all be in jail.
- Janet and Chrissy might have been sex symbols back in the late 70s, but with the recent popularity of plastic surgery, they look like pre-pubescent mongoloids compared today's stars. Nowadays they've got bigger boobs on Nick-at-Night.
- The girls' bathroom is conspicuously lacking a “24-hour shower cam.”
- As far as I can tell, the closest thing to a lesbian inference was the episode where Janet and Chrissy took Jack up on a seafood dinner. In those days, the “L-Word” meant lobster.
- Jack Ritter's physical comedy rivals modern-day professional wrestling choreography. I think Ritter may have been born a couple of decades too soon. He’d have made a great pro wrestler. Imagine Jack kicking The Rock’s ass. I’d pay money to see that. Jack’s trousers would make for a swell pair of wrestling tights. “Can you see the Jack is cooking?”
- Larry was the 1970's Donald Trump. He was an entrepreneur extraordinaire. He had that what-the-fuck-is-going-on-there hairdo. He always had girls way too hot to be dating him. And he had a “tower” of his own, just like The Don, that he was forever trying to sell.
- Just as Maryanne was hotter than Ginger, so is Janet hotter than Chrissy.
Three's Company too.
It's fun to look to the past and realize how much things have changed. I was watching a Three's Company marathon on cable television the other night. The episodes are about 25 years old. Just for fun, I mentally transposed Three's Company into contemporary American life. Below are my observations: