8/01/2006

Mother Theresa: Humanitarian, blog-hacker.

"Dear Lord, please smite that li'l bastard LBB and all of his douchebag readers. I'd personally like to miracle everyone associated with this post a swift kick in the crotch for failing to defend my honor. Many readers took offense at LBB's foul-mouthed remark on an earthly skank named Paris Hilton. Yet nary a one mentioned the inappropriateness of me soiling my naked body in pizza while indulging in sensual pleasure. Blasphemy! Shame! How dare that Jezebel and I appear in the same publication? For shame. The devil works through your hands, LBB. He's alive and well in you. You have the devil's hands."

47 comments:

Heart Of Darkness said...

You don't have devil's hands! If my friends are right (as they claim to always be), I AM the devil, and I do NOT lack any hands for the moment. So there. Go mooch of somebody else's evil-ness!

Peter said...

Well I guess that's cooked our collective geese Bugs, better get that cube up on your site quick!! just click the "picturetrail" icon and follow the prompts, it must be easy if I can do it.

Snooze said...

Poor Mother Theresa. We overlook her pizza lust, and the world overlooks her death because everyone was so focussed on the death of the vapid Pricess Di

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

She also really hated electric guitars. She said they were instruments of Satan.

She may have been right about that.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Doesn't EVERYONE soil their naked bodies in really good pizza every once in a while? Sheesh....like that's a sin or something...

Nice hands, LBB....;)

Phain said...

great...just great....now i'm going to have to read each post 6 times before i comment just to make sure i don't miss anything. i'm a stressed commentor...aarrggh!

flea said...

well all be damned mother T just left me utterly speechless!! (actually laughing would be a better word, but don't tell her that)

mcBlogger said...

Well, I already had one foot on the way to hell, so I might as well plunge right in. anyways, I thought it was a hypothetical, and not positive declaration of Mother T smothering herself with pizza or something to that affect?

NWJR said...

That's because she's hotter than Paris Hilton.

tornwordo said...

I want what you're smoking.

LaunderLust said...

Go blow it out your Albanian ass, MT!

JJ said...

And yet I'm somehow still honored and proud to call you a "cyper peep". LOL

Ginamonster said...

eew! how'd you get those???

Danke Shane said...

I have front row seats in Hell, so I will save you a spot. By the way, Oil Of Olay toning cream will do wonders to help those devil hands...

Evydense said...

I have to get to know you. With your connections....wow.!
You're the only person that I know of who has a direct link to Mamma T, and you gotta know who she's only one step away from.

Riss said...

So your pizza is a dirty but rich skank? That doesn't sound yummy to me. Thick crust pepperoni with extra genital warts and pus please.

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Yeesh! Riss! That was harsh! Haha!

jules said...

Devil's hands? Come rub 'em all over me.

pissed off patricia said...

Okay, I had to read the original post first and then reread the MT hacked one. You have a hell of a lurker on your hands or I guess I should say the "devil's hands"

Funny and smart idea.

No, I see nothing wrong with the pizza redo. As long as it didn't make you sick, who cares?

Blonde Vigilante said...

God has smitted me.

Webmiztris said...

"You have the devil's hands"

that why we love you, BB!!

Scottsdale Girl said...

I have a mansion with bay windows and berber carpet, a built in wet bar and a hellfire-ocean-front view. You can all stay with me.

Just ask for Naughy Little Minx's limo service when you arrive.

Elaine said...

You know for having devil's hands.. they're extremely smooth.

What do you use Aloe or something?

Beth said...

Well, you know what they say about a size of a man's hands..!

Just stumbled on your blog, LBB. Love the snarky attitude and irrestable wit. I will be back. (btw are you single? haha jk.)

Memphis Steve said...

Oh shit, the devil isn't half as funny as you are. He's just an asshole, but you crack me up.

Raggedy said...

Okay I admit it...
I have no clue what you are talking about..I am lost...
Who is LBB?
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

asianpixie said...

I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Fathairybastard said...

Fuck her. She had her 15 minutes. She's jerky. Move on.

randommoments said...

I almost just peed my pants.

Thought you should know.

djmetronome said...

No one really like Mother Teresa anyhow...it's all a ruse. Oh, look at me; I care for the downtrodden...big woop, who doesn't...and none of us were cannonized...tee hee.

you inspire my unreasonable and ill-directed rage...that's for being that LBB.

Serendipity said...

LBB, mother T would probably read your blog and cackle her head off!

Edgy Mama said...

Dark, dark, dark. And hilarious.

I want to roll nekkid in pizza sometime.

Miss Sassy said...

yeah, what SHE said.

I've heard the "devils hands" turn of phrase WAY too many times in one week not to wonder what is so wrong with where my hands are.
Pizza WAS on the list.
You got me cravin it after that post.
Even with MT and PH and dumpster diving references.

Be the devil's marionette, just don't stop posting!

Chad said...

Guess it's a good thing you didn't mention her wrinkled cooch. That would have been really, really bad.

Junebugg said...

Are they the Devil's Hands because you're WICKED GOOD with them?

Crashdummie said...

Touché!

Molicious said...

Poor Mama T. Too bad she really isn't here to defend herself.

Zinnia said...

I'll have to read more here to find out what's going on, lol...

Barry S. said...

I was more offended that you compared awesome pizza to Paris' punani.

NeverEnough said...

I agree that Mother Theresa would probably love you!! I know that would not please you, but it's the truth :)

Oh great One said...

For shame.....

Amandarama said...

Talk about a ghost in the damn machine...

Fathairybastard said...

Damn, now I've got that wrinkled cooter immage in my head. Needless to say, we're all goin strait to hell. Thanks.

Miss Cellania said...

Its not just you. The good Mother is upset that Paris Hilton will be portraying her in the movie version. You just happened to be in the way, LBB! But you have somehow turned my appetite against pizza...

Blonde Vigilante said...

Wait...wait...God has smitted me, but Jesus loves me this I know cause the Bible tells me so. Ha.

frozen ananas said...

leave mother teresa alone. she was italian and entitled to eat pizza in any way she wanted. what? she wasn't italian? well then, do you think she ate a hawaiian the same way as a pepperoni?

Spinning Girl said...

That's because food and frolic go hand in hand. Last night I played "paella" with my new friend from Barcelona, and let me tell you, that stuff is pretty damn filling.