8/31/2007

A blogger question, then another Chautauqua.

Before I begin today’s Chautauqua, I’d like to ask my readers: Is there anyway to quickly and easily link somebody? I encounter new readers from time to time. I visit their blogs and find them charming. I’d like a function in which I click on their blog, and some computer algorithm puts their hotlink in my template HTML code and links them to my blog automatically. Perhaps there’s a blogging utility or something. Wouldn’t that be great? Anyway, let me know.

Today’s Chautauqua is about corporations. The poor things, corporations have no friends anymore. Everybody's down on Corporate America. Scourge of the earth -- these big, greedy corporations. They can do no right. Hell, corporations couldn’t make friends with Senator Larry Craig if they were in a neighboring stall.

Bunk that, I say! I look at my life and realize that corporations are to thank for everything I've got. They built my house (then financed it for me at a reasonable rate). Then they stocked my house with goodies like microwaves, ice-making refrigerators and MacIntosh ‘puters. Corporations manufactured my car and provide the fuel to make it go. They put the digital watch around my wrist and the clothes on my back (which reminds me to give a shout-out to Corporate America’s factory workers: thanks little Indonesian dudes, for sewing my Hanes Boxer-Briefs. Don’t spend those 48 cents all in one place. By the way, next time leave a little more room in the crotch).

Perhaps most importantly, corporations distill my favorite adult beverages. Granted, Corporate America also employs me, which is mostly why I need adult beverages. It’s all very yin-yang. One must stand in awe of how much quality corporations add to our lives. Without them, the world would be a collection of co-op grocers chock full of hippies wanting 5 bucks for box of “organic, whole-grain” rice cakes – now with 30% more hemp.

Everybody wants corporations crushed. Tax them. Regulate them. Restrict them. Make them “give back.” Force them to play fair. Make them pay “livable” wages. What are those, anyway? I’ve never made a wage I can comfortably live on. And yet I’m still alive.

I say we leave corporations alone. We all know the fable about the goose that laid golden eggs. I want corporations to remain free. I want them drunk and running around a field, naked, scoring with other intoxicated, indiscriminate corporations – all the while making little baby “love-corporations.” Lollapalooza for the Fortune 500. That's what I want!

34 comments:

Susan as herself said...

I got no problems with corporations. As long as I choose when I go to them, and they don't ever come to me. :)

Hammer said...

People don't often realize that when they demand and pass laws that force corporations to go "green" pay wages outside of market value and pay higher taxes there is only one person who suffers...the consumer takes the hit with higher prices and fewer choices.

Tracy~The Sports Mama said...

If you DO learn how to link someone's blog... could ya clue me in too? Its been driving me crazy.... lol...

And... love yours! :)

OldHorsetailSnake said...

You'll be sorry for this when the last round of mergers occurs -- one corporation will make everything, and they won't give a shit if you don't have room for your balls. Myself, I'm checking out to make room for an out-sourced person.

Scottsdale Girl said...

In my current state of horniness I completely blacked out at
"thanks little Indonesian dudes, for sewing my Hanes Boxer-Briefs. Don’t spend those 48 cents all in one place. By the way, next time leave a little more room in the crotch)."

mm boxer briefs...

Loving Annie said...

Blogrolling is incredibly easy, Lightning Bug !

It is http://www.blogrolling.com

Hope that you have a great Labor Day weekend !

Loving Annie

appletini said...

What's the matter... you don't like "organic" ?

I for one agree that corporations should be regulated, need to play at least "semi-fair" and give back to the community ;)

NWJR said...

On the one hand, I agree with you. I have never been employed by a poor person, but I have been employed by corporations.

On the other hand, I wear a ring *rimshot*

Seriously, though, it's hard for me to gather up much sympathy for a "corporation" when I've been close enough to see how the sausage is made (figuratively speaking). I was living in Flint, MI when the unemployment rate was 25%, and GM execs were living high off the hog. As in life, there has to be a balance.

tornwordo said...

I use bloglines.com Then you can go to a blog, click "subscribe with bloglines" on the toolbar at the top of your browser (which you will put there when you sign up for free). First, you put the "bloglines" code into your template and then whatever blogs you add or delete will automatically be added or removed from your blogpage. Super easy. No more fucking with the template.

Damsel Underdressed said...

"I visit their blogs and find them charming."

Oh, I know you're talking about me! Aren't you sweet? Ha ha. ;)

It's my new bangs, isn't it?

I'm not much of a technical guru so I can't help you. Good thing you don't have to have a license to operate a computer. I'd be SOL.

Palm Springs Savant said...

Amen! I believe in less taxes and less government interference. My only stipulations are to ensure companies don't pollute the environment...so we have a nice clean planet for our kids to enjoy.

Jeannie said...

Good one. People like to complain but if they were shareholders they'd be singing a different tune. The fact is, Corporations have figured out how to do it right - and if the unions would keep their greedy hands out of the till, then Corporations wouldn't outsource to 3rd world countries and unjob people here who want to earn executive wages without working the hours or risking a damn thing.

NWJR said...

Speaking of Larry Craig, I heard a commentator on FOX news ask today, "Who will fill Larry Craig's seat?"

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.

Father Luke said...

Try this page for the liniking question:
C L I C K


Look at 2 Link List:
Add a collection of your favorite
sites, blogs, or web pages.

- -
Okay,
F a t h e r L u k e

Tuyet said...

This is an intersting blog.

phlegmfatale said...

I agree. No one should force corporations to go to rehab. I say "No. No. No."

Janet said...

I second blogrolling. Once you're on there, it's a one step, quick linking process. You should try it. Come on. You know everyone's doing it:)

Jenny! said...

That link thing would be sweet! If you find out how...let me know!

Queen of Dysfunction said...

For years I've wanted to create a bumper sticker that said "I (heart) corporate America".

I think you have finally pushed me into making that dream a reality. And incorporating.

Thanks you Mr. Chautauqua for your corporate love.

Raggedy said...

Oh wow! I loved that book! Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I read it a long long long long time ago but I still remember it. I read it more than once because I liked it so much.
I have missed you soooooooooo much!
I enjoyed your post today.
My health has improved.
We were hit by a tornado last Sunday. Our power was restored yesterday.
I will try to catch up with all that I have missed here over the past few months as soon as I can.
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Jay Cam said...

Would you like trade links to increase both of ours site's traffic? My site is http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com

If would like to, post my link -> http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com <- then comment me back or contact me at greeksmoney@yahoo.com and i will post yours on my site under "Related Sites" or "Supporters" as a permanent link.

I would appreciate the help as my site is relatively new and could use the help to increase traffic.

ADW said...

Corporate America. You know that still evokes scenes from '80's movies in my mind of down and dirty men and women with big shoulder pads. I don't even nkow why that is.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

"Lollapalooza for the Fortune 500"

Where do I buy tickets for that show? Adult beverages included, I assume? ;)

random moments said...

Eh, linking your peeps is a bit of a bother. I let mine pile up in my favorites and then do them on Fridays, of course, on my boss's time.

I adore Mom and Pop stores, but its Corp Am that keeps us moving on up.

Becky said...

Chautauqua, I'll have to use that word.

Little Wing said...

By the way, next time leave a little more room in the crotch.......
Ok THAT'S funny!

Kelly said...

"...find them charming."

That't not me... but I am sooo pretending it is. :-)

Oh great One said...

It's a tough call isn't it. I like the things they give me but I don't like it when they have no competition and bend me over and take it without any "hey howya doin'?". You here me ENTERGY!

jali said...

I think some of the leadership is pitiful. Who's making these short term, poorly considered corporate decisions?

Look at the Mattell multiple-recall fiasco (after closing US plants in favor of sending jobs overseas). Look at CocaCola's layoff today of 125 in Atlanta after opening their new multizillion dollar exhibit just this summer right here in Atlanta.

Brechi said...

I agree just as long as they still compete among themselves and give us the best product :)

Suzanne said...

that's the perfect post! Well said!

gusgreeper said...

interesting view. i agree in many ways and much is just plan fact really.

Ari said...

I failed to mention before that I am digging on your ZMM format: I too have read and loved that book.

Anyway, the more corporations we have, the more choice we have. And that is a kind of victory.

I don't like evil corporations though, which have been a thought topic for me recently (i.e. Monsanto?). The trouble is, all information sources have an agenda and you can't be sure who's really evil, so I get tiredhead and stop thinking about it. I reckon yours is the best way.

ZenDenizen said...

Funny, I have a post in my draft folder called Corporate Guilt. All of my friends are into corporate bashing lately and I can definitely relate on a number of points since I've experienced corporate absurdities, too. But it really is a matter of finding the right fit, I currently have a sweet gig that I wouldn't trade for my own business or standing in line for potatoes and bread anyday.