9/05/2007

Bullet-ins

Yeah, I know I was abandoning bullet marks to make room for my chautauquas. But my latest chautauqua, The Omnipresence of Economics, is taking a while. Meanwhile, here are a few thoughts on my mind as I write:

  • Today’s youth has lost all reverence for courtship and romance. Today it’s socially acceptable – no faux pas whatever – to make the following offer to a girl you barely know: “Hey, wanna see my cock on my webcam? You can get naked and masturbate for me.” I hate to sound old fashioned, but I believe the reason society is in the crapper is because men just don’t have to work for it anymore.
  • Couples counselors warn us that jealousy is relationship cancer. It’s not a sign of love. It’s counterproductive and it has no place in a healthy relationship. I disagree. I believe the essence of a healthy relationship is equal portions of jealous rage brewing in either person.
  • My wife insists I use our charcoal grill instead of the gas grill because she loves that rich, smoky flavor. So I do that for her. In fact, for a special treat, I've soaked my dong in Liquid Smoke, just for her. Rawhide, biotch!

30 comments:

Jeannie said...

Women are nuts putting out without the ring and promise of everlasting financial support.

Jealousy is fun to play with.

Nitrates aren't good for you.

Queen of Dysfunction said...

That's it. You've convinced me. I am now sitting in a pie tin with mesquite flavored liquid smoke. Yee haw!

Little Wing said...

Yea, like why buy the cow when the milk is free.

Nothing like a rawhide bone!!!!

Going to go look for my own pie tin.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ooooo....doesn't that liquid smoke burn though?

Hey, I'm a big fan of those sour apple blo-pops myself...I know my The PK's pop would get blown a whole lot more if it tasted like that sour apple flavor...;)

Oh great One said...

I agree with you sex is SO casual anymore there is no mystery. Nothing to look forward to. As for jealousy....I got a streak of it. It's served me well.

Liquid smoke? Mrs. LBB is a lucky lady.

Chunks said...

I'm a jealous person. Hubby is not. It makes an interesting dynamic!

Liquid smoke...you kill me.

Hammer said...

Smokey dong..I think your idea may revitaize the chinese pet food market.

jali said...

I just re-read your last poing - your DONG - not your DOG. I was going to point the PETA trolls this way.

Mo said...

Did you buy her some A1 to go along with that dong? Or is she a purist?

Susan as herself said...

I agree. Charcoal grills, while being highly carcinogenic, taste much better than gas grills. And I am always willing to risk a year or two off my life for a nice, blackened hot dog.

Pun fully intended, BTW.

Scottsdale Girl said...

I am so taking the 13 yr old's webcam off his computer and throwing it away.

Jon said...

I have no response but to say that I'm laughing in between typing every few letters.

Spinning Girl said...

A little jealousy does wonders for the sex life.

Jenny! said...

How nice of you...smoke flavored dong! Does it come with mayo on the side?

ADW said...

Now I have the theme song running through my head. Shit.

Peter said...

Righto LBB, after that last one....what have you done with that nice guy Rich that you just introduced us to????

NWJR said...

I think your next Chappaquiddick should be on grilling.

Rach said...

Liquid smoke? You guys certainly know how to live............or love! Medium rare or cremated?

tornwordo said...

Two dick references in the same post. Hmmmmm, lol.

Miss Cellania said...

Because of items two and three, you will probably have really work for number one. And your wife can thank this blog for the immense amount of sympathy we all have for her!

IDigHootchAndCootch said...

LIQUID SMOKE!!! And all this time I've been holding my sack over the ignited charcoal bricks.

gusgreeper said...

first bullet so true. i am so glad we are not having kids. seriously.
this wee edition of bulletins is extra tres funny.

Enemy of the Republic said...

I had two guys send me a picture of their thingy--one reason I stopped listing my email on the blog. I really didn't get what they were trying to prove.

Memphis Steve said...

I'd soak my dong in melted chocolate if it'd get me some Jessica Biel. Yeah baby!

~Fathairybastard~ said...

Rolin', Rolin', Rolin'... Keep that dawgie rolin'...

Dude, the right girls were always easy. And the others are still hard. And you've ALWAYS had to pay for it, one way or the other.

Lyvvie said...

notalgic bygones = quickies in the handicapped toilet, right? Because "bygones" looks a bit like boning if you read it fast. And we all know how useful that handrail can be...

Lyvvie said...

Crap! put this in the wrong post...

Anndi said...

*takes notes*

How long is this soaking period?

jillie said...

I think I am going to go out and buy some liquid smoke tonight or when I get back to sandy eggo!! And you had betta hope I don't come driving in your state!! LOL...

Thanks for stopping by ;o)

MONA said...

I agree that romance & love have gone cheap. Is it Globalisation? :D

I do not agree that jealousy is a healthy emotion. It comes out of possessiveness that again comes out of loneliness. A lonely person is a beggar who just needs & has nothing to give.Such a person cannot love. Love means fulfilment & sharing. It is the act of sharing...

I agree with your wife. Smoky flavor Rocks!