- Hawkish Pentagon officials clamor for more of federal pie to go to defense. Doves in Congress agree as long as military actions are humanitarian efforts having no discernible American interest.
- If you smoke, drive an SUV, go to church, eat meat, own property, spank your kids, eat fast food, or display an American flag by your doorstep -- there will be a new group who hates you and is currently appealing to the ACLU to sue or prosecute you out of existence. They’re just looking out for your rights.
- A few more nations will decide they hate the United States.
- Crude oil prices will climb, OPEC will claim its hands are tied. The government will raise taxes on fuel. American consumer will take it in the shorts.
- Stock prices will stagnate; average business executive salaries and bonus packages will surge 55%.
- A government program fails to deliver on promises. Washington insists it needs more funding. Republicans and Democrats will clash on how much more.
- Israeli-Palestine talks will result in peace. No, I’m just kidding. They still hate each other.
- Shortening and jawbreakers will be the new health foods.
- B-list bimbo will “accidentally” lose pornographic recording of her sexing some has-been low-life. The performance will be uploaded to the Internet. B-list bimbo will become A-list bimbo. [Gene Simmons]
- School grades prove that kids keep getting dumber and more violent, but they’re even better at using computers than they are today.
- An evil genius will take over the world by installing hypnotic marching orders into I-pod circuitry.
- A revolutionary new diet fad will grip America and everybody will get 10 pounds fatter [What Would Jesus Eat? A little pussy, if the mood struck him right.].
- There will be a bunch more crappy-sitcoms and yet another CSI crime drama series.
- Millions of women will develop dark-purple smudges on their lower backs where tattoos used to be. Men will have a similar discolored ring around their upper biceps.
I told you so!
On 6/13/2005 I made the following predictions, below. I've highlighted those that have come to pass in bold font. I stand by those that that to date have not yet become reality. Give them time.