First, from the book of Genesis:
"And God observed in His creation that fellatio was the habit of wives unto husbands. And He had made this the natural order of things. And the Lord smiled."
"The Lord applied abundant fur to the genitals of both Man and Woman. And He instilled in His posterity the burning desire to place one's mouth upon these regions of the opposing sex, and also to thy orifices which excrete the bodily humors. And so the Lord revealed His sense of humor."
And these verses belonging to the book of Job:
"He who suckles at the teat of the Welfare state, or who refuses to work thy trade, or to take labor of any kind, shall get a holy kick in the loins; for he runneth over with sin. All who walk with the Lord shall shun and ridicule he who suckles."
"Youths whose garbs hang low and reveal the gluteal cleft are sacks filled with douching humors. Let us pray and entreat our dear Lord to strike them in thy cleft with a lightning bolt."
And from the great book of Proverbs:
"The commode which man uses to deposit his bodily humors shall remain upright and pointing to the heavens above. So is God's will."
"Those who imbibe intoxicating spirits will walk with the Lord, and know the bliss of His Grace, and the Lord's plan shall reveal itself in dreams and hallucinations. Yet drink not to excess, lest thy altar be not the Lord's, but a false porcelain goddess."
"When such time passes that iron beasts reign supreme on the world, and man drives them on flat and hardened stone, the virtuous will take the path farthest right, except for when passing a slothful iron beast, and the sinful will hog the left path and know His wrath in the afterlife."
"Troubadours who strum the lyre and go by the name, Creed, shall bear God's name yet offend thy ear, so that His word stinks in the ear. Believe not they speak the word of God. For they are Satan's musicians."
"And she revealed her abundant loins and midriff where gluttony reigned, and undergarment twine traced her ample haunches, and this sight so appalled beholders that they be sick in the gut upon beholding. And the Lord said this should not be."
And finally, from Revelations:
You shall know the mark of the beast not by three 6's, but by colored design across the lower hide of the female. Posterity, know this by its true name, Tramp Stamp. Be not tempted by this sluttery; for it is the mark of Satan.