11/14/2008

Some thoughts

*I founded my model for explaining and predicting human behavior on the presumption that we are all the same.  I figured those who hated Americans and yearned for our demise simply needed access to a local Walmart, a drive-thru McDonald's and an occasional blow job from a busty blond American floozy.  Once they traded cave dwelling for mall shopping, they'd see the virtue in American life Then I read about affluent terrorists with iPhones, stripper girlfriends and Neiman Marcus decorated condos.  My model broke down.   I'm perplexed.

*My handwriting is much nicer in pencil than in pen.  I think it's because I trained in pencil.  It's my native medium.

*Whenever I take pains to remember something by writing it down, setting my wristwatch alarm, tying a string around my finger, or some other device, I find that the act itself makes an indelible mark on memory, so that I don't need the reminder.  The thought stays fresh in mind.  Knowing this, I can't force myself to write the note or employ whatever trick for reminding myself of important things.  It seems such a waste: once I do it, I won't need it!  But because I skip it, I don't mark my memory and sure enough, I forget whatever the hell it was I needed to remember.  Paradox.

*Never make an important decision when you're hungry, horny, frightened or angry -- unless, of course, you're always at least one of those things at any given time, in which case, do the opposite of what you think you should do.

*I have a get-rich quick scheme: slight-of-hand trickery.  First, I enroll in the David Copperfield Junior College of Magic and Illusion.  I take every slight-of-hand course offered, practice relentlessly and perfect the techniques.   Then I get a job at Circle K.  Why Circle K?  Because that puts me in charge of a cash register.  Now I put my plan into action by shortchanging unsuspecting patrons. Some poor chump buys a pack of smokes and a six pack with a 20-dollar bill he earned by selling a 100 dollars' worth of food stamps.  I hand him back what appears to be 7 dollars and 25 cents in change.  He pockets the change and leaves.  Later at the titty bar, he reaches into his pocket for a dollar where he instead finds a soiled napkin, a condom wrapper and a Sucrets throat lozenge – my calling card.  Hey, that Circle K clerk ripped me off!  Too late pal – you've been had.

*The president-elect is considering Hillary Clinton for Secretary of State.   Fine, just as long as he doesn't make her a White House intern.  With her big mouth and pension for revenge, we could have another imbroglio brewing in no time.

*I miss having enemies.   I don't miss the enemies, per se.   In fact I hope they die or go away forever.  I miss having enemies.  We're no long allowed to have enemies.  Now that we've accepted the absurd notion that all religions are equally correct (and equally worthless!) and that all cultures are equally virtuous, we can't have enemies anymore.  Sure, some people thirst for our destruction and express it with any number of hostile acts, but as these people are equally worthy of consideration, they're simply unaccommodated special interest groups trying to have their voices heard, or to overcome oppression and bigotry.  I remember the good old days when antisemitism, terrorism, despotism, and genocide were evil acts and the people who practiced them were bad guys.

*Linda Tripp of Monica-gate fame recently praised Barack Obama's “purity of soul.”  Congratulations, Barack!  The woman who betrayed a friend and confidante, eavesdropped an affair and published the damming information to the entire planet, whereupon a friendship, a marriage, a political system and several people's lives hung in the balance – has identified you as a man pure of soul.  High praise, indeed!   But wait, there's more.  I hear Mel Tillis has praised Obama for his remarkably smooth speech.

20 comments:

Giggle Pixie said...

I think my native medium will always be crayon.

And that stuff you said about Linda Tripp's praise of Obama? PRICELESS!!

See, that's why I love coming to your blog. Good times, my friend. Good times.

Scarlet said...

Words of wisdom...and your last line was my favorite. :)

Mona said...

So sad about the model . I can relate...But then as they say, if there is anything more unpredictable than the predictable, it is human behavior, where one cannot even predict his/her own; where no promises can ever be made, since you don't know how you are going to feel the next ten minutes from now. ( All those who say 'I'll love you forever' are actually lying, how can they possibly know that, this moment they may love, the next moment they may not).

I feel that your handwriting becomes better in pencil, because it subconsciously reminds you of the the teachers whip ( psychobabble, don't mind okay?)

Not so much a paradox as an association trick. That is what they teach in the lessons guaranteed to improve memory.

yea, energies like hunger, sexual arousal, anger & fright must just be the things you need to TRAIN yourself in decision making. These are Energies ( with exception to hunger of course) and energies are actually neutral. You have to recognize the fact that they re moving in the negative direction. You just have to transform & transgress them by moving them in the positive direction.

Oh no. the better & easier way is to come & beg in a superstition ruled country like India . No training, no getting job hassles at all. In India the beggars, mint money, their families live in bungalows & their children study abroad.( this is the truth!)

Strange, the democrats were saying exact same about McCain & the Palin woman. . Bravo Big Butt! You just delivered 'Poetic Justice'!

Correct! I couldn't agree more. All religions are equally worthless.The religious fucktards have gone screwing each other for long, be it mental or otherwise & now we may be arriving at antiseptic boredom finally. How boring indeed. No action left . Ps> antisemitism sounds almost like they were plugging each other's potency ( semen). ( I like onomatopoeic associations ;) )

Big Butt. Grow up. Stop branding people by their given behavior at a given time. Like we said earlier...human behavior is unpredictable & bla bla..( have I come to a full circle already ?)

Ok

The End

tornwordo said...

I have lots of enemies. Tailgaters, for one.

Loving Annie said...

Linda Tripp is a nightmare. Her remark makes me shudder.

I agree with you about the enemies paragraph.

I hate to see Hilary in the white house in any position. I suspect she is just gearing up for 2012...

Hope you have a good weekend, Lightning Bug !

NWJR said...

"They" don't hate us for our freedom. If "they" hated people for their freedom, Sweden and Canada would be bombed incessantly. They hate us because we won't leave them the fuck alone.

And clearly, Linda Tripp still hasn't learned to keep her mouth shut.

NWJR said...

"With her big mouth and pension for revenge"

Dude, it's "penchant", not "pension". Since you moderate comments, I know you'll quietly correct this without posting my comment, which would make me look like an asshole word prig.

...he said, with hope.

Becky said...

I always write in pencil in school unless my teacher insists on pen. Ya know how most people are like all politically correct and they pretend they don't hate anyone, well I hate them the most!

random moments said...

Hey there, looks like I've missed a couple posts. *slacker*

I hate to tell you, but I've already done the Circle K gig. I was inspired by the McDonald window cashier who shorted me a five and somehow forced me not to speak up by giving me a huge toothy gold capped grin that was both friendly and threatening. It said "Tell and I'll kill you with the gun I have in my pocket." I thought GENUIS! I don't look threatening so I could get away with even more...

No, I have not had my coffee.

Great bullets as always. Looking forward to more.

Sassy Blondie said...

Linda Tripp: still looking for a job to pay for her plastic surgery that made her look even more like John Goodman in drag.

I don't know why people think Obama could be the target of a would-be assassin. Surely, if he's dumb enough to choose Hillary Clinton as SoS, she'll be the prime target. SoS indeed...

Peter said...

I wouldn't give up on having a few enemies Rich, there is plenty in the world that needs a bit of hate!!!!

Roxrocks said...

If I took your advice about decisions, I'd never make any!

Leesa said...

Very philosophical post. Any you explained why I write so much better in crayon than in pencil. That was my native medium. I am still quite good at drawing clouds.

Mona said...

Stop complaining, start Thanking!

Happy Thanksgiving to Big Butt & Family!

Mr. Friendly said...

Mel Tillis?
Begs the question, when DID it become wrong to make fun of stutterers? I was watching South Park last night and one of the kids had this awesome "Porky Pig" thing going.

I'm laughing now, just thinking about it.

Ladies, send your hate mail to "idontcare@yahoo.com"

Oh great One said...

Ha! Linda Trip...Mel Tillis....too funny!

Becky said...

Why does that one woman call you "big butt?" lol

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Yahooooooo! The Mel Tillis praise.....Oh that is so funny. I give you 10 points on a scale of 1-9.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Hey, I answered your question in my comments - couldn't find an email addy for you, so I figured I'd put the link in here and you can read the reason why the Evil Twin is so named: http://tinyurl.com/6nxx5p

Jadedprimadonna said...

FYI to anyone who likes to correct other people's writing errors...

Commas and periods should go INSIDE quotation marks.