*Hurl a knife at a guy such that the knife sticks into the wall inches above his head, and then shimmies back and forth, and even though I don't have the knife anymore, he knows not to mess with me because if I can throw a knife like that, then who knows what else I can do?
*Discern the precise depth of a gorge by dropping a stone and listening for the report of the stone when it strikes the ground. Then having my friend doubt my estimate because "that's impossible." Then later, we Google it and it turns out I was right. Steak dinner!
*Tame a wild animal threatening a campsite using my body language to communicate that I'm indeed the alpha male, yet I mean him no harm. When all the campers rush to thank me, I pose humble and explain that I learned it watching Discovery Channel, and that they're the real heroes.
*Be the first on the scene at a traffic hazard and direct traffic. People gather from my demeanor that I'm in charge -- so no horn blasts and no little kids giving me the finger from the back seat.
*Pop open the hood of a disabled vehicle, jiggle the right wires, hoses and components so that the car suddenly starts up. Admittedly, this is probably the most unlikely of all my goals listed here. Unless the car ran out of gas and there's a 7-Eleven in sight, no way I'm getting the car to start!
*Tackle a purse thief in mid-thievery. Come to learn that the old lady victim had Christmas money in her purse for grandkids which they will get, thanks to me. Humbly decline invite to Christmas dinner.
*Be the guy who scales the wall, goes around and unlocks the door from the other side for the others to get into wherever we're trying to get into.
*Successfully navigate a hike using a makeshift compass needle, noting the position of celestial bodies and tree moss, and drawing on my experience as a cub scout -- even though we could have taken the easy way out and used my Droid's GPS.
*Join in a doo-wop group singing around a barrel fire, slip right in with the harmonies, take over the lead and end the song with a hoo-OOO-ooo-waaahhhhhhhh. Shake hands with the guys and then keep walking while the leader of the group asks the other guys, who was that cool cat? -- or words to that effect.
*Get drafted by a group of guys playing football at the park because their friend got hurt and now they're a man short. Catch the winning touchdown and lead team to a come-from-behind victory. Guys are almost glad their friend got hurt. Other team clamors for a rematch, but I look at my watch and say I have to go.
*Spear a fish with a stick of bamboo. Cook it rotisserie style on a sandy beach.
*Successfully negotiate my party's way out of a foreign jail cell with my considerable charm and also by besting the guardsmen at cards, chess or whatever their pastime is while on the job.
*After learning we're flooded in for the night, whip up a 7-course meal using whatever ingredients I can find in the cabin kitchen. Wow fellow travelers.
*Hit a ridiculously high hand in blackjack and catch a small card, giving me 21 and making the dealer sneer. Then giving a knowing look to the attractive lady across the table.
*Flip a bunch of burgers on the grill at just the right time so that they only have one set of parallel grill markings on each side. Serve them by pointing to each guy with the spatula and saying "you wanted yours medium-well, right?"