11/29/2010

Wikileaks

People are up in arms over the Wikileaks documents.  Many believe Wiki is committing espionage -- perhaps treason!  That's just pundit melodrama.  I see the leaked State Department documents as reality programming, Washington style.  We shouldn't be surprised that a media outlet is publishing our government's communiques.  It's an eventuality of the reality programming craze.  I've spent the last couple years watching dagos wax and tan their "garbagio" on MTV.  I've seen fat people losing weight, Fat Tuesday romps, fat-assed Kardashians, a fat gay fella who won a survivor game and then stiffed the IRS out of its share, and a slew of self-centered, disillusioned posers living together in a contrived home setting, all waiting to launch into an angry soliloquy on roommate etiquette.  Reality TV programing is everywhere.  It was only a matter of time before it infected government.

I wonder what the secret documents reveal.  I hope they capture our State Department officers at their most candid (and a little drunk).  Maybe those inner-office emails show them cracking wise at world leaders' expense:  Hillary Clinton speculating on the "shortcomings" of Kim Jong-il's pecker.  Barney Frank quipping that Ahmadinejad's suit is so gay that it makes him (the pickle puffer Barney Frank, himself) look like John Wayne.  And someone please tell me upper echelon State officials are dumping all over France.  There's a hanging curve ball.  Where will the intelligentsia go with the frogs?  Body odor, loose morals, their propensity to surrender?  Hell, France needs its own Friars Club Roast to cover all its foibles.  Have you seen all the goatees in France?  But enough about the women... 

I'll bet the State Department takes an occasional shot at the president when they think nobody's listening.  Did you hear somebody socked Obama in the mouth during a pickup basketball game and gave him a fat lip?  Good.  At least now he'll have to stop kissing Arabia's collective ass for a few weeks!  Or how about this:  Obama's lip was so fat that his ears briefly appeared to be normal size.  The State Department isn't above a cheap shot.

Politicians are too wrinkled and homely to star in bedroom spy-cams or nightclubbing jaunts.  So we're reduced to prying into their emails and top secret documents for entertainment.  It's either that or watching Charles Rangel fry breakfast sausage in his boxer shorts while watching the Weather Channel.  Or maybe Nancy Pelosi preparing for bed by unscrewing the C-clamps that pull her face around the back of her vapid head.  Instead, we opt for classified documents whose publication compromises national security.  Bargain of the century!

Admittedly it might be fun to watch a herd of Washington bureaucrats waddle through the nightclub scene a la reality TV.  Popping bottles and stuffing our tax dollars into waitresses' cleavage.  After all, we've been funding their parties for decades.  Let's at least get a voyeuristic thrill for our money.

14 comments:

SQT said...

The idea of seeing any behind-the-scenes action starring Bawney Frank scares me to death. He is the gay Elmer Fudd I never wanted to see. And do we really want to know what he's "hunting?" Brrr.

tornwordo said...

You're dating yourself. That fat gay fella won the show in the 90's. The Obama ear joke made me laugh.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Yeah, we might as well get something worthwhile for our tax dollars. Almost everything else is a waste.

Jeannie said...

We all know the government is corrupt - this will just give evidence. Perhaps it will destroy democracy but really just the sham masqueraded as democracy. Media scrutiny has more or less destroyed the British Monarchy. They have been shown to be the same as everyone else and certainly not better. I'm still pretty certain that Diana's death was a hit. So it will be interesting to see what comes of the leaks. Maybe sham democracy will have been found to be better than what's coming. Really, we know the government has to do some pretty nasty stuff that no one can admit to supporting (like torture) but it's the only way to survive in a nasty world.

Penny Lane said...

So I am a journalism major, and this wikileaks release of the diplomatic cables is a hot topic right now, in and out of the classroom.

I spend a good chunk of yesterday studying the cables. Now I do believe that it is interesting stuff, and that it is exciting to see some dirty laundry aired out, and people believe they have a right to know what is going on in their own government and I am sure they do.

BUT, this leak was not a smart idea. There is A LOT of information in those cables that can bring a lot of chaos to America and the world. Those documents leaked nuclear hotspots, strategies, backdoor deals with supposedly neutral countries, sentiments by our leaders expressing their dislike or lack of respect for other world leaders; some of which our allies.

And much much much more.

It is not healthy.

It may cause a lot of problems in the near future.

Heff said...

Lol @ SQT ! Somebody's ass will go down for this episode, I'm quite sure. Can't the government just SHUT DOWN Wikileaks ? Do they have NO power at all ?!?!?

Impulsive Addict said...

All politicians make me want to throw up.

I probably don't wanna know what goes on behind the scenes. My rose-colored glasses have worked out for me so far.

Are you judging me?

Philosophia said...

Lol. I love this. It could be interesting for reality tv to infiltrate government.

"Hillary Clinton speculating on the "shortcomings" of Kim Jong-il's pecker"

But then again, the idea of being subjected to some of this stuff is just plain traumatizing. *Closes eyes*, no bedroom spy-cams/nightclub jaunts of George Bush please. I might cry. :)

Sandra said...

I wish I was American...or at the very least I wish the Canadian politicians were as fun as the American ones. Nothing interesting ever happens around here.

KittyCat said...

Wiki what? You lost me. But thats ok, I find you very funny.
Thank you for making me smile.



Kittycat

rox said...

Hopefully some rogue Canadian with PMS doesn't get ahold of some important information about your government! =)

Jennifer Fabulous said...

Haha nice. I agree reality tv with politicians would be interesting. There would never be a loss of material, with all the scandals that exist (most hidden, which we have yet to find out). It would be way more entertaining than anything you mentioned in the first paragraph. Lol.

Side note: A radio station in my town (as a joke) announced yesterday that anyone in the US who looked at the documents online was going to be arrested. They said the government had a tracking device and had the address of those who viewed. People were panicking here. It was hilarious. :P

Real Housewives of Oklahoma said...

Thanks for making all of us at the RHOK laugh! =)

Kelley said...

I'm all for Wikileaks. This is the first I've heard of it because I guess I'm majorly out of the loop. Thanks for getting me caught up! I really liked that part about Obama's lips making his ears look like a normal size. Ha! On another note, thanks for stopping by my blog! I have never heard of the AYCE establishment "Furrs" but I don't like the sound of it. Furr? Food? Furry food? Are we animals? Ew!