ShabbyGal asked: What is your absolute favorite pastime (besides alcohol)?
Blogging, of course! But for a while, it was first-person shooter video games. That whipped me into a froth. Spending 3 hours a day imaging you were in the theater of war couldn't be healthy. So I quit. Before that, my favorite pastime was popping plastic bubbles in packing material. I still get a boner every time the UPS van drives by.
CB asked: Have you ever torn the ass off a lightning bug and put it on your finger like a light-up ring?
Killing lightning bugs for their glowing parts is a contemptible practice! And yes, I did. But I was young and knew no better.
Jeannie asked: What makes you really laugh?
Anymore, the Finance section of the newspaper! Also, I've noticed that I tend to laugh hysterically at others' anger. You know -- when people vent and let all the hate spill. Anger is funny. It's weird. I've wondered whether that says something about me.
Impulsive Addict asked: I would like to know how you picked your blog name and does your wife read your blog all the time or just sometimes like my darling M?
When I was dreaming up my blog name, I struggled for a metaphor meaning "flashes of insight." Eventually I landed on lightning bugs. From there, all I needed was a dash of obnoxiousness. So it became Lightning Bug's Butt. By the way, when I started blogging, I wrote a blog named "Pontificate or Perish." I was so proud of that name. I've often considered changing this blog's name to Pontificate or Perish. But I can't bring myself to do it. What would I do with that cute li'l pic of the lightning bug on the left?
I read every blog post to my wife when I first publish. If I get a laugh, I know it's good. She never tells me when they stink. She's too sweet. But if she laughs, I hit the target.
Penny Lane asked: So one day I decide that I am going to build you a time machine. I am a genius and know how to do those things so it only takes me a day. I hand it to you and I say "here is this time machine, but you are not allowed to use it to go forward or back in time" what do you use it for?
Well, the first thing I do is see whether I can stick my penis in it. If I can't, then I'll use it as a paperweight.
HeartInHand asks: Do you have a dog?
I have two. I love one to death. The other I hope soon meets with death.