3/10/2011

Next of Kin(dle)

Aw, jeez.  Suddenly I'm one of those a-holes who monopolizes every conversation with how incredible his Palm Pilot is -- only the Kindle is this decade's Palm Pilot.  Yes, it's another Kindle post.  I wonder how Google will find room in its archive for the 8-sextillionth Kindle post.

But first, let me take a metaphorical crap on it: my Kindle, the one I blogged about last week, broke!  Can you believe that?  Somebody needs to make sure those Indonesian kids aren't dehydrating at the workbench.  They're pumping out faulty units.  Anyway, after falling head-over-heels for my Kindle, she stranded me at the drive-in with a stiffy.  The Kindle couldn't start.  It repeatedly froze while booting and nothing in the trouble-shooting guide or the Internet helped.  Admittedly, while researching on the Internet I mostly looked at naked ladies and Charlie Sheen videos.  Anyway, I thundered my way to Target and swapped out for another Kindle.  This time, I think the Indonesian kids were fresh on the beginning of their 18-hour shift because my Kindle's in perfect working order.  Take the rest of the day off, you cute little bastards.

The Kindle simulates an ink-on-paper surface that promotes facile reading.  It's a pleasure to use.  The text is customizable for size, font and spacing.  It has quick and convenient search utilities and an online dictionary.  It renders pictures in striking clarity and detail, albeit in black and white.  The e-ink technology is perfect for a dedicated text reader.  And the sleek, compact design melts into your hands, stays out of the way and lets you enjoy reading.  At 139 bucks, it's a bargain.

Amazon's Kindle has the same elusive quality as Apple, Inc.: exuberance for the product, a cult-like following and the conviction that you're a cut above those who settle for lesser brands.  In fact, now that I'm a Kindle owner, you should feel lucky I'm still talking to you paperbacker rubes.  I kid, I kid.  Who am I take a superior attitude?   I don't even have a fancy-schmancy webcam like the rest of you.

I've been Kindling every day.  You may as well get used to that term, Kindling, because it's going to become a household term.  It'll be synonymous with reading.  The only Kindle shortcoming is the absence of back light.  Kindle projects ink on a screen (imagine a high-precision Etch-a-Sketch), but emits no light.  So, just like a book, you need a light source.  As luck would have it, Target was willing to deprive me of 25 dollars for an LED clip-on light designed for e-readers like Kindle.  Twenty-five dollars for a flashlight!  Well played, Target.  I guess the "target" was on my backside because that's where you stuck it in.  It was worth it, though.  The light works well and stays out of the way.  It conjures the nostalgia and romance of reading a book under the covers at night, and by "book," I mean your old man's Playboy.

25 comments:

the nyanzi report said...

Is it true that Amazon has sold more kindles than all the Harry Porter book series?

Jung said...

I guess they did a pretty good job with it, never considered using Kindle yet

Evil Twin's Wife said...

I bought a magazine a month ago and still haven't finished reading it - and I'm a fast reader! LOL. I need to get back in the habit of actually taking my children to the library or something! My brain is becoming atrophied.

Nadine2point0 said...

Hey there, Kobo all the way. It's so much lighter than paper ... when it hits me in the face as I let go, falling asleep while reading.
We'll have to see about the boat as far as throwing money at a hole in the ocean. It's in great shape. And we can all swim, just in case!

Budd said...

if you are using the unlighted leather case, it is known to make the kindle do those things. If you call kindle support they will hook you up. there is a post on my alternate reality blog about it. They took a bad experience and made it a good one.

Jeannie said...

You are so cute. But my hackles are up about your kindle worship. I've got a lowly Samsung which had an easy read surface before kindle had a clue. Alas, I have no dictionary but since I know what every word in existence means (or I make up a meaning) I have no need for such a thing. I don't know what mine cost. My kid bought it. It froze a couple times at the start, and seemed to have to learn how to turn pages quickly but after that, it's been fantastic.

Impulsive Addict said...

A stiffy in the drive in? You still have those?

I can't believe your Kindle broke. Mine is still in tip-top shape. When I purchased mine, I got a cover that has a light with it. It runs off my Kindle battery. It's bad azz but I also shelled out like $50 for that shiz. Well worth it in my opinion. =)

Whatcha reading right now?

Shabbygal said...

You getting kickbacks from Kindle or what? You are definitely making want to buy one! Traci

Jennifer Fabulous said...

You've sold me. I want one. :)

Violet said...

Been 11 months since I last posted... I saw your blog at the top of my link list and thought, "That's weird. I thought LBB abandoned his blog." But, too my surprise...! You convinced me - FB is out, blogging is back in.

Anonymous said...

Dehydrated Indonesian kids--LMAO! At least that prevented them from leaving sweaty fingerprints during assembly.
Maybe you should've purchased one of those snazzy LED headlight things they sell in camping catalogs.

Happy reading!
T-Rex

heartinhand said...

I was going to just send you a video response from my built in webcam, but alas, I am old-school.

I just love the feel of the paper in my fingers as I turn the pages. I love the opening of a brand new hardcover book, the sound and smell of it. It's the experience of reading that Kindle will never be able to replace for me. :) Watch, I'll get one for Christmas or something and have to eat shit about it, just like I had to do with my iPod. (I was old-school about CDs too...)

Baloney said...

I now have a Kindle and an iPad. I read my Kindle on the iPad and gave my son the actual Kindle. Win, win.

So, what are you reading?

Penny Lane said...

I had to wait all day to read your post, and that just made me sad.

How dare your Kindle break on you? Does she know who you are?

But I am happy you have a new one and can go back to kindling.

KittyCat said...

I thought about getting one ONCE
but I like the feel of paper. The smell of a book.
to fold back the page to keep my place.
yes Im out of touch.
but thats what makes me special.

: )

Shawn said...

You just can't find good help these days. When the kid working for enough money to buy a loaf of bread for his family fails you were else are we to turn!

That was wrong...I'm sorry! I love kids and do not promote their unfair treatment. I'm tired, that's all!

I amy have to break down and buy a book on the iPad, I just don't know that I can give up the real deal. Books, they feel and smell well like books. Maybe if they sold a book scented candle I could burn that while reading on the iPad...Look at me, I'm such a problem solver!

XLMIC said...

My 11-year old has a daily goal of reading 100 pages a day… I am totally NOT kidding. He goes through books like toilet paper. Think a Kindle might be in order. You're selling me on it. A couple more posts about will probably seal the deal.

Deborah said...

RIP old Kindle.

Doesn't Kindle sound like a popular girl baby name?

ThingsIThinkAbout said...

I laughed at the "Somebody needs to make sure those Indonesian kids aren't dehydrating at the workbench" part. Hopefully that isn't true...

I've heard great things about the Kindle, and I think my next ebook reader will be a Kindle. Right now I have a Kobo, which is alright, but fairly basic.

Not So Simply Single said...

When you replace your sex life for your Kindle, I will begin to worry. Til then, sleep with it...whatever!

Lisa

tornwordo said...

I just use the Kindle "app" on the ipod touch. It's fabulous!

thoughtsappear said...

I think your Kindle broke because it had enough Charlie Sheen. Just my expert opinion.

Xazmin said...

Well. This post has left me feeling inferior.

Mona said...

Your Kindle broke? did you try Pfizer???

Shosh said...

I bought my almost 60 years old mother a Kindle and she loves it. Since her eyesight is not too good, she listens and have that kindle robot read to her.

I have no idea! I tried it when I was doing laundry, and it wasn't too bad. I can keep up with my story while still being useful.