5/25/2011

You ask LBB, you get it.

Look at me!  I'm doing another blog meme.  Ordinarily I'd hate myself.  But the source of this meme is so hip and cool and whatnot that I can't resist the temptation.  Why should I?  It just makes me a member of the Cool Club.  RHOK 4-ever, yo!

Today's questions are the brainchild of Seriously Shawn.  And you should take them as seriously as Shawn, herself.  Seriously.

1.} What must you do before you go to bed at night?
2.} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
3.} Before going on vacation what must you do?
4.} What is one thing you must do every day?
5.} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?


1) Before bed:  I must inspect under bed and in closet for monsters, wraiths, apparitions, harpies, demons and other undesirables.  Also I must employ interdental brush, Oral-B plaque remover and antiseptic mouthwash to maintain healthy teeth and gums.  Also load my Droid with the latest Dennis Miller podcast so I can fall asleep while laughing and growing all the wiser.


2) Movie snack:  The wife's earlobes.  Sometimes I do that after eating a box of DOTS and make them all sticky.  


3) Before vacation:  Pack a different color Speedo for each day at the pool/beach.  Also, forward my phone calls to 800-GO-SCREW.  


4) Must do every day:  Read RHOK.  Drink Diet Coke.  Exercise.  Upload encrypted message confirming that I'm still alive so that SEAL Team Bravo doesn't execute Operation Charleston.  Don't ask questions.


5) Particular order:  I MUST use my electric shaver before using a blade.  Otherwise my shave is torture.  If I do a once-over with the electric, then reconnoiter my jaw with the blade, things work out A-OK.  Finally, I rub my chin, nod approvingly and smirk with an air of machismo like the sexy hunks in the shaving commercials do.  Gillette -- because you're all man, all the time!  Incidentally, what's with those guys in the razor commercials?  They act so high and mighty.  So you're the cock of the walk, huh?  Dude, you shaved your face.  You didn't cure cancer.  Stop looking so pleased with yourself.  Smug a-hole.  Congratulations, you did what every 13-year-old boy learns to do in about 5 minutes.  Stop admiring yourself in the mirror like you have a Porsche and a 10-inch knob under the towel.  Fag.



22 comments:

Mamarazzi said...

LMAO @ #5....hilarious!

XLMIC said...

I am imagining what these people had to do to get you to participate in a tell-all meme such as this one....

And, as always, I am just laughing too freaking hard.

SQT said...

My must-do is to not let my husband read #2. He will get ideas...

Jeannie said...

You're getting so good at this!

Jennifer Fabulous said...

I like that you have good dental hygiene. For some reason that makes me very happy. :)

I love these little questionnaires you do!

XLMIC said...

I am all a-flutter over your comment about the hair-flip video *blushing*

The P90X is a really great and complete workout, in my opinion. It is really rough to do it "right"... with the food plan AND the exercise regimen. But, honestly, if you do any of it with the proper form with any measure of regularity, you WILL see results in a good way. And Tony Horton makes me giggle. That is my totally unprofessional opinion. What are you looking for in a workout?

AK said...

ROFLMAO @ number 5 :D I'm stealing this?

Roxrocks said...

I don't know why but this one reminds me of "Are You There God It's Me, Margaret."

"We must, we must, we must increase our bust."

You drink diet coke? Dude, that's a fat people drink!

Shawn said...

I'm beginning to wonder if you're not really my husband disguising himself as LBB. Maybe you're brothers from other Mothers!

Next months vlog? I think I will make it a shaving while in a speedo tutorial!

Am I Type-A? Seriously?

Impulsive Addict said...

Oh LBB. How I love you so!

Do you ever find anything under the bed? Just curious. I mean, I know you can take them out should you find something because you have mad ninja skills from playing all the video games.

I'm jealous that M doesn't snack on my earlobes during the movie. We'll chat about this before our next movie.

I called the number you left. Niiice.

I like to read the RHOK too. That's how we became friends! =)

Thanks for linking up with Shawn. Does this mean you'll be back next week to answer MY questions?

*say yes*

Deborah said...

OMG number 5! lolol

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

Let's talk about your hostile feelings toward the Gillette guy. Why do you hate? He just wants to look good (smooth and good) and isn't that what it's all about?

Nadine Hightower said...

No One Gets Next to This Face... Pointing to myself... Without Shavin' This Face... Pointing At Roy!

Penny Lane said...

I bought a bed with drawers underneath. Stuffed the drawers with closed. Monsters can't fit. problemo solved.

Gabriella - The Stepford Wife said...

I found number one funny! :)

Johanson Family said...

Heh.. too funny about your shaving.. what a pain though to have to go through 2 processes to get it done! Love Dennis Miller-- he does a spot on Bill O'Reilly's show and always has a way to make politics funny.

Mona said...

Huh? Shawn is your wife? Seriously?

Is wife earlobe a delicacy?

Dawn said...

LBB, you are da bomb! Thanks for the shout-outs for The RHOK. We *Heart* you too.

Be sure to let us know when you post a picture of yourself in that speedo. Ha!

Raven said...

seriously, you boy bloggers crack me up.

you so don't wear speedos. and you so don't eat your wife's earlobes.

who do you think you are foolin?

Baloney said...

You mean all men don't shave like the commercial? I've seen Doc admire himself many a time. I'm going to start posing after I shave my legs and pits.
I like your priorities. You are a RHOK'n favorite too.

Mrs4444 said...

I think earlobes are delicious :)

Chapter Two said...

fun